Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 91536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
"Really?" she asks.
I nod. "I tried, sure. I stood up straight and I dropped my voice as low as it would go, and I channeled Sasha and said the words. 'Take off your dress.'" I try to remember exactly how I went. The way it sounded like a question. Or a plea. "It was an early client. I didn't have the confidence. I'd never tried that sort of thing before. And she saw it immediately. She gave me another few minutes then asked me to leave."
"Really?"
I nod. "Asked Sasha for a refund. Which we provided. After all, I couldn't deliver."
"Was it hard?" she asks. "To learn how to… turn on that mode?"
"With some people, it was easy," I say. "When I was younger, I was good at seducing with charm. Especially when I leaned into that image of myself as a Latin lover. Or a master in the language of love. 'Mi amore' did all the work for me. When I could turn that on, I did well with clients. But when people wanted anything else, I was lost. I didn't know who else I could be. I didn't know who I was. I still don't."
"That must eat at you," she says.
"It can."
"Why do you stay at your job, then?"
"Why does anyone?" I ask.
"Really." She sits up and looks me in the eyes. "You're good at it, I know. You came highly recommended. And that rec came with another. But you built the business well too. The website, the cards, the aftercare. And your family seems to think you're doing well."
"No. Daniel thinks Mom gives me money. Mom thinks Daniel has me on the payroll. Neither of them is willing to really ask about it."
"Why not tell them the truth?"
"Why not tell my family I'm an escort?"
"Sure, there are obvious reasons. But if you're proud of your hard work, why not? Besides the those reasons?"
"I'm not sure I can get beyond the obvious reasons."
"Try."
"Is this Doctor Vaughn or my fake girlfriend?" I ask.
"Let's say it's your friend, Ivy." She sits up a little straighter. Looks at me a little more sharply. Not with judgment. As if she really wants to know. Really wants to see inside me. "That's one reason. What else is there?"
Chapter Thirty-Two
Romeo
This is it. My chance to dive deeper. To answer a question honestly for once.
And I fail.
I chicken out.
I give her some bullshit about Catholicism.
She sees it in my eyes, but she just nods, and accepts my excuse to leave.
We make small talk the rest of the day. Sure, Ivy plays her role as girlfriend at dinner. She talks about a Christmas trip to San Diego, with her parents. Her favorite place to go as a child. At the time, they went to Sea World every year, but ever since that documentary came out, they can't bring themselves to watch whales or dolphins perform.
She still loves the city. The harbor, the gas lamps downtown, the old town, Balboa Park.
After dinner, my mom issues another intimacy exercises.
Ivy goes to bed early instead.
My brother and Cynthia take to their room.
Mom tries to talk to me about love and commitment, but I don't quite understand what she's trying to communicate. There's too much poetry in Italian.
I walk in circles around the backyard by myself, trying to answer the question in my own mind.
Why can't I share for real?
What am I so afraid of?
Thankfully, in the morning, Mom goes easy on us. Insists on fixing scrambled eggs for the group.
She dangles everything I want in front of me too. "Romeo. Tonight, after lunch, I want you and your brother to take me through your business plan. Fix me a coffee. Show me everything. If Daniel says it checks out, I'll arrange the trust so you both get the money at the same time."
Everything I want.
So, so close.
With that one little asterisk. As long as you manage to keep a woman around.
And then she addresses the room with the last thing I expect. "There are two taboos in society. Sex and money. Normally, I wouldn't bring up either. But they're an important part of marriage. The top two causes of divorce. You don't have to share with me. But you do have to share with each other. Total financial nudity." She passes out workbooks and sends us to private areas.
But it turns out there's nothing private about it.
Mom follows us into the backyard.
She sits next to me at the patio table and says, "Whenever you're ready, I'm here to help."
Chapter Thirty-Three
Ivy
It's one thing to kiss Romeo in front of his family. It's not exactly difficult, staring into his eyes like I'm desperate to feel his skin against mine.
But opening our books?
Showing our bank account balance?
That's a whole other level of intimacy.
"Mama, we've only been dating for three months." There's a playfulness to Romeo's voice. He's trying to make this seem easy. But I hear the strain too.