Total pages in book: 131
Estimated words: 123575 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 618(@200wpm)___ 494(@250wpm)___ 412(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123575 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 618(@200wpm)___ 494(@250wpm)___ 412(@300wpm)
At Oakmount, I won’t be the fragile Hayes daughter with a heart condition. Won’t have Mother arranging my life down to the minute. Won’t have house staff reporting my every movement. For the first time, I’ll have space to breathe, to exist beyond the narrow parameters that have defined me.
And if Aries will be there Tuesdays and Thursdays...
I suppress the dangerous thought before it fully forms. There’s no stopping the flutter in my chest, which has nothing to do with my defective heart. Logic insists I’m setting myself up for disappointment. That whatever I glimpsed in his changed demeanor means nothing. That the rejection from two years ago still stands.
A deeper thought occurs, reckless and filled with hopeful abandonment, whispering that perhaps we’re both evolving beyond the roles assigned to us. That college might offer not just academic opportunity but personal reinvention. Away from this house. Away from Mother’s constant surveillance. Away from Father’s expectations and the Hayes family reputation.
Just the thought of such freedom makes me lightheaded with possibility. The chance to define myself. To make choices not weighted by family legacy or medical history. To explore feelings I’ve been forced to suppress beneath proper behavior and appropriate responses.
“Earth to Lilian,” Mother says with a slight laugh. “You’re positively somewhere else tonight. Excited about school, I suppose?”
I look up, offering the expected smile. “Very excited. I think it’s going to be...transformative.”
The word carries more meaning than Mother could possibly understand. Transformative in ways that have nothing to do with classes or degrees or the connections she values so highly.
Instead, it has everything to do with the man behind that study door, who looked at me for the first time in years like he actually saw me.
And like he wanted to see more.
Lilian
A Few Weeks Later
The chandelier light makes everyone look washed out, like ghosts haunting a ballroom rather than the most charitable of Oakmount’s elite. I’ve lost track of how many events I’ve attended. Mother’s charity functions have started to blur together—save the children, save the oceans, save the reputation of wealthy families with too much money and not enough guilt.
Same shit, different event.
I do my best not to show my growing hate for these things. A year ago, life was different. In my mind, it felt like I had something to look forward to with school coming up, even if it was small. Aries ignores my existence or pretends to which make things awkward when we see each other, but I know he feels the same as I do. It didn’t matter how many times he told me, in what language, or if he screamed it at the top of his lungs. His body refused to ignore his feelings, even if his brain did.
I knew he felt my presence when I walked into a room, knew he wanted me with the same intensity that I wanted him. Even if he was too chickenshit to admit it. Or hell, to even follow through when we were both face-to-face with the evidence, physically and mentally.
A tiny part of me wonders if I should just give up. Meet someone new. Put distance between myself and my overprotective family for good.
My mind twists back to Aries, as it always does. At least we were at Oakmount, together. As pathetic as it is, I can usually watch him from wherever I station myself and obsess over him from afar. He’s seen me several times on campus but never speaks to me.
Never seeks me out. That’s fine. I’ll get over this crush eventually? Right?
Now, though I don’t even know if he’s going to show up tonight. I don’t know what the hell is going on with him. His whereabouts shouldn’t concern me, but they always do, no matter how many times I tell myself I don’t care.
He’s a liar, a despicable liar, and I’m done trying. I’ve told myself so many times I don’t care about him—to stop caring—but my brain refuses to accept that decree. If anything, I’ve just grown more worried as time passes. It’s like Aries has fallen off the face of the earth lately. Even when I hunt for him around campus, he’s been absent. Has he been hiding from me?
He hasn’t been returning phone calls or text messages. Not that he ever does from me. He’s barely attended family dinners, and even though he came by the house that single time before I started school, he didn’t join my stepfather’s business, as Mother predicted. At least, not yet. I overheard Mother and Richard arguing about it before I moved out.
They wanted him there badly, but I couldn’t figure out why they felt such urgency. As usual, they’re hiding things. Or maybe it feels that way since I’ve always been the one who walks into a room and everyone stops talking. They never want to burden me.