Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 132657 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132657 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
And up until now that feeling had been guilt. If he let this shit happen to Harlow, it might always be guilt.
The last few days had been something else. He’d been…content. Happy. His brain hadn’t been centered on survival, and it was nice.
Maybe these few days were all he deserved.
“It doesn’t matter what you mean to do, Mr. Dawson,” Niall was saying. “All that matters is when you say things like that Harlow hears she’s not as good as her sister.”
“It’s not about being…” Chase stopped and seemed to have a deep revelation. He looked to his twin, and they had a whole conversation through a series of raised brows and tilted heads.
“He’s definitely the me,” Ben agreed. “He’s the reasonable one who sees a lot of the social things you miss. I know you don’t want her to grow up but she’s going to, and she’ll do it with you or without you. You’re fighting a battle you can’t win. Not without her losing. Do you want her to lose? Do you want her safe so badly you’re willing to keep her from the kind of love you and I found?”
Chase’s expression said it all. He didn’t need to hear psychic words to know that Chase Dawson had questioned whether he and Niall were worth Harlow’s love.
The trouble was Jensen was asking the question himself.
“Is there any possibility of us getting back to the actual reason I’m out in the ass end of nowhere in the middle of the night? I know you think this job of mine is a ridiculous rebellion and I’ll wake up one day and come home, but I have to be undercover with a notorious drug kingpin in roughly sixteen hours,” Jack pointed out.
It was such a weird family dynamic. They were arguing but about something important. Jensen hadn’t really known his dad, and when he tried to talk to his mom about anything that wasn’t puppies and kitties and how great it was to have that two liter of store-brand soda she had a coupon for, she dissolved into apologies and tears. He never had anyone he could get real advice from. Someone who would argue with him. Even Tommy did what he wanted and hid his problems so no one had to be bothered by him.
Everyone except Niall.
Niall listened. Niall tried to force him to talk.
Niall would be good for Harlow.
“If I go into witness protection, do you think they would still target Harlow?” Jensen asked.
No one was listening.
“Come on, Jack. I’m ribbing you because you haven’t been home.” Lucas had softened considerably. He leaned toward his son. “We miss you. Do you honestly think I would be up in the middle of the night if I didn’t want to see you? If I didn’t worry this might be my only chance to see you? I had to argue with your mom and dad or they would be here, too.”
Jack sighed, a weary sound. “I’m not ducking you. I’m undercover. I can’t pop down to Deer Run to hang with the family. And I miss you, too.”
Chase seemed to lose whatever psychic discussion he was having with his twin. He sat back, hands coming up. “Fine, but can we move them to Sanctum? I would feel better if they were in a secure location. I promise to not visit at any time when our daughter might be pursuing…” He went slightly green. “…whatever she’s pursuing with these two.”
“Love,” Ben said with a sigh. “She’s pursuing love.”
She wouldn’t be pursuing it if she stayed with him. She would be on the run. She would be Hamilton’s prey. “This could take a while. I don’t want Harlow stuck in some club when she should be out living her life.”
Finally, Chase turned his way. “You didn’t think it would last this long before? You didn’t think bringing Hamilton to justice wouldn’t take a couple of years? The wheels of justice move slowly. Apparently you need to watch more Law and Order. Lucas can give you a rundown.”
Nah, he was an asshole. Jensen could like an asshole, but he wasn’t in the mood tonight. He had shitty things to do and his own life to ruin. But at least he could save the two people he loved. Sitting here listening to all the ways Hamilton was putting him in a corner had sent a jolt of reality through him.
He’d made this choice a long time ago. He’d chosen revenge over healing. He’d chosen revenge over her. If he’d walked away with her, he could be out. He could have spent the last two years building something with her and when Niall met her and they all played at The Hideout…they would have ended up together. It might have been hard, but they would have gotten through it. If he’d chosen differently, they might be married by now, and he could sit around with Niall and listen to everyone argue and poke each other and know they were a part of this family.