Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 128417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 642(@200wpm)___ 514(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 642(@200wpm)___ 514(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
“Just keep going.”
“Well, shit. You write it, for fuck’s sake. What am I gonna say to the girl, ‘I’m not into you? I used you for sex? I was thinking of Kat when I fucked you’?”
Kat’s face lights up like the Fourth of July. “Oh, I like that.” She motions to the screen. “Write that.”
“I’m not gonna write that.”
“Is it the truth?”
“Well, yeah.”
“All of it?”
“Yeah.”
“Even the part about you thinking of me while fucking her?”
“Of course. I already told you that.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“I sure as hell did.”
“No.”
“Well, if I didn’t, lemme tell you now. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, fantasizing about you, jacking off while thinking about you—and you wouldn’t leave your date with Cameron Fucking Schulz for me and I was pissed and frustrated as hell.”
“Oh, well, that’s something different than thinking about me while having sex with Jen.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Saying you worked yourself up into sexual frustration by jacking off and thinking about me and then fucked Jen to relieve your frustration is quite different from saying you fucked her and thought of me while doing it. See the difference?”
I put my hand on my forehead like she’s giving me a splitting headache.
“Do you see the difference?”
“Yes. I see the difference.”
“Likewise, whatever you said to Jen in New York and on the phone after Reed’s party wasn’t the same thing as, ‘I am not remotely interested in you in any way, shape or form, so leave me the hell alone.’ Whatever you said to her, she interpreted to mean, ‘I am not interested in a serious relationship with you, but I will quite happily continue to casually fuck you.’”
I close my eyes, trying to escape the torture.
“You’re hilarious.”
I open my eyes. “Why?”
“Because you’re this big, strong, gorgeous guy with all the swagger and confidence in the world—but secretly you’re kind of a puss.”
“No, I’m not. Absolutely not.”
“Yes, you are. You’re scared of female emotion. You’re scared of making a girl cry. Waaaah.”
I exhale loudly. “Can we please just write the email? Seriously. I’ve already spent way too much of my time on this.”
“This isn’t about Jen. This is about you learning a life lesson, Playboy. Clearly, growing up without a mom, there was no one to teach you how to understand and communicate with women. You need some tutoring.”
I feel instantly defensive—but quickly realize she’s got a point. “You might be right about that,” I say. “I’ve never thought about it that way.”
“Of course, I’m right. I’ve got four brothers and a dad to teach me how to talk and think like a dude. But who do you have to teach you how to talk and think like a chick?”
I purse my lips, considering. “My personal assistant?”
“Doesn’t count.”
“Then no one.”
“Well, don’t you worry, honey. I’m here to save the day. So let’s try this again.” She motions to the computer screen. “Say what you really mean. Say it kindly, but say it clearly.”
I grumble, but I put my hands on my keyboard. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression when we spoke the other day,” I type. “I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship of any kind with you.” I stop, waiting for Kat’s reaction, but she’s stone-faced. I continue typing again. “In New York, I truly thought we were both up for the same thing: a meaningless one-night stand. That was probably a stupid assumption by me, given our history. In fact, I was probably being insensitive by making that assumption. I should have known your feelings might be involved. But mine weren’t.” I pause and look at Kat. “Okay?”
She touches my cheek and assesses me with earnest eyes. “You’re doing great.”
I’m floored by her sudden show of tenderness. I swallow hard and turn back to my screen. But I can’t think. My heart is suddenly pounding wildly.
“Go on,” she says. “Just tell the truth, whatever it is.”
I take a deep breath. “The truth is,” I type, “I’m interested in someone else.” Oh shit, my heart is racing. “Really, really interested. I don’t know where things might lead with her, or if she’s interested in me in return, but I’d like to find out. And that means I can’t fuck it up by being a total douche and continuing to pursue something with you.”
I look at Kat. Her mouth is hanging open.
She puts her hand on her heart.
“And, yeah,” I continue typing, “if you think I’m talking about The Jealous Bitch, you’re right. She might be a grenade that unpredictably explodes all over me, but that’s what I like about her.”
I’m practically panting. Holy motherfucking shit.
Before I’ve even turned my head to get a read on Kat’s reaction, her lips are on mine and her tongue is in my mouth and my hands are on her cheeks and her arms are around my neck and we’re kissing the hell out of each other. She presses herself into me and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close, grasping at her for dear life, whispering her name into her lips.