Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 128417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 642(@200wpm)___ 514(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 642(@200wpm)___ 514(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
Jonas looks down at the tattoo newly inscribed on the outside of his left forearm and his platinum bracelet glints in the moonlight. “Thanks. Yeah, I wanted the whole world to be able to read my words and understand their meaning. It’s my declaration of love for Sarah. I’m shouting about my love for her from the top of the highest mountain.”
I chuckle to myself. Oh man, Kat’s list of “prohibited” tattoos is the gift that just keeps on giving. “So you got a girlfriend tattoo, huh?” I say, trying to stifle my laughter. “So, so awesome, bro.”
“Soon to be a wife tattoo,” Jonas says proudly, his excitement palpable. “Why are you laughing, motherfucker? What’s so funny?”
“I’m not laughing at you, I swear to God. Kat’s got this stupid list of tattoos that she says are uncool or whatever. And girlfriend tattoos are on the list.”
Jonas shrugs. “Like I’ve ever given two shits about being cool?” He swigs his beer, still looking out at the river. “And, anyway, it won’t be a girlfriend tattoo for much longer.” He’s obviously bursting with excitement about that last statement.
“Hey, don’t feel bad about having a tattoo on Kat’s list—dragons and YOLO are on the list, too—both supremely uncool, it turns out,” I say.
Jonas chuckles. “Well, I could have told you that.”
“No, but get this: Kat came up with her list before she saw any of my tattoos.”
Jonas bursts out laughing. “Really? Oh my God. That’s pretty funny.”
“Yeah, Reed and I raked her over the coals pretty good the other night at dinner, along with this hip-hop guy signed to Reed’s label. Cool dude. You’d like him. He’s a deep thinker, just like you. Anyway, this rapper-dude had an ex-girlfriend tattoo and a dragon.” I laugh at the memory. “Kat looked like she was gonna hurl the whole dinner. So fucking funny. I think we made her pay for her sins pretty well.”
“Wow, you should see your face when you’re talking about Kat,” Jonas says. “You really like her, huh?”
I can’t hide my huge smile. “Yeah, bro, I like her a lot.” The image of Kat in her skimpy white tank top and G-string, her eyes drunk with arousal, and her hair tousled pops into my head. “So back to my question, bro,” I say. “Do you think you could, maybe, explain things in a way that’s not”—I grab his forearm roughly and read his brand new tattoo—“our ‘love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, the amazement of the gods’? I know it’s hard for you, Jonas, but can you just try to talk like a normal person, just once?”
Jonas swigs his beer, apparently thinking. “Okay, how about this: Sarah’s holding my hand and leading me outside a dark cave toward the light that is the divine original form of myself.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, gee, thanks. That’s so much better.”
Jonas laughs. “I was just fucking with you—although that’s all true, just to be clear.” He laughs to himself for a good long minute. “Okay. The bottom line is that I’d rather be with Sarah than anywhere else in the world. I’d go to fucking IKEA with her if it meant being with her.”
My skin suddenly erupts with goose bumps. “Wish you were here,” Kat’s napkin said—and what thought popped into my head when I saw it? “So do I.”
Jonas exhales loudly. “It’s just so easy with Sarah. I’m completely myself with her, you know? I never have to worry I’m saying the wrong thing. I’ve shown her everything—good, bad, ugly, silly, crazy, creepy—and she accepts it all. And she’s kind. And nonjudgmental.” He sighs happily. “And so smart.”
“So you told her everything?” I ask.
“Everything. Absolutely nothing left out. And, hey, that’s reason enough right there to marry the girl. I only wanna do that shit once, man. Baring your entire soul to another person is fucking exhausting.”
All of a sudden, I’m thinking about how Kat led me into her bed after reading my application and then fell asleep in my arms.
“I dunno, Josh—I just know,” Jonas continues. “It’s really not all that complicated. For once in my life, it’s not about what I think—it’s about what I feel. I’ll never want anyone besides Sarah, ever, ’til the end of time, and I’m sure of it. It’s literally impossible for me to want someone else. Sarah’s the divine original form of woman-ness. She’s the ideal form of beauty—the pinnacle of perfection that all other women aspire to—the goddess and the muse—so what the fuck else could I possibly want?”
“Shit, I was totally with you until that last bit. ‘The goddess and muse,’ Jonas? Come on, man. What does that shit even mean?”
He shrugs. “If you don’t understand it, then I can’t explain it to you.”
“Jonas,” I say, “I’m serious, man. Please, just break it down for me. If you had to pick one thing that makes you know for sure Sarah’s The One, what would it be? Not ‘goddess and muse’ shit, but, like, something tangible? Something concrete?”