Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 79336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
“Men suck,” I said honestly. “Ain’t shit.”
She gave a pained chuckle like it was a joke.
“I’m serious.”
“I know you are.” She sniffed again. “And that’s why I love you, Con.” She pulled her hand away from mine and wiped her tears, patting the corners of her eyes dry. “I didn’t see it coming. We’d been married for only two years, a hot piece of ass came along . . . and that’s all it took.”
“You aren’t supposed to see it coming—because it shouldn’t come at all.”
“I’m just glad it happened before we had kids. Then I’d be stuck.”
“You wouldn’t be stuck.”
“I wouldn’t be married to him, but I’d have to share my kids with him forever.”
“Yeah.”
She stared at the corner of the desk.
“Why didn’t you take my call?”
“Because . . .”
I waited for her to say more, but she never did. “Because why?” I pressed.
“Because I deserve this for what happened with Edric. Karma is real, and she served justice.”
It was the most ludicrous thing that had ever come out of her mouth. “Issy, look at me.”
“No.” She kept her eyes on the desk, the tears bubbling again.
“Issy.”
The tears came free before she lifted her chin and looked at me.
“You did not deserve this. No one does.”
The tears were like slow rivers that traveled down her cheeks.
“The situations aren’t even comparable, Issy. And even if they were, I still wouldn’t want this to happen to you.”
She gave in to a quick burst of tears. “Because you’re such a good guy, and I hate myself every day for losing you.”
“Issy . . .”
She dropped her face into her hands so she could cry with some sort of privacy.
And I just had to listen to it.
“You never would have done this to me,” she said between the breaks in her fingertips. “You never would have hurt me. And now look at me. Divorced before I’m thirty. Living eight years in the past because that’s the last time I was truly happy.”
“Issy,” I said gently. “I know it’s hard right now, but I promise you’ll be happy again someday. This is a bump in the road, not the end of your story. You’ll remarry, and he will be the one you were supposed to be with. And you’ll have kids, and he’ll never hurt you. And you’ll wonder why you had to wait so long to find him.”
“Con, I want you.” She dropped her hands, her cheeks red, her eyes puffy. “It’s always been you. It’ll always be you. It’s been eight fucking years, and I can’t escape you. Guys have come and gone, but you’re the one who stays in my heart. You’ll always be the one who got away.”
Now I was the one who avoided her gaze. “You’re just upset right now—”
“I’m upset that one stupid mistake cost us our happiness. One stupid mistake has kept us apart for almost a decade. Can you look me in the eye and tell me you’ve loved anyone since? Or have ever come close?”
My eyes stayed on the desk.
“Con.”
“No, I haven’t.” For the first few years, the women were a distraction from my heartache. Then they turned into a playground. Then they turned into a blur of good sex but meaningless nights. No one ever meant a damn thing to me, and I didn’t know why. Even when I was ready to be with someone, there was no one.
“Then why not?” she asked through her tears. “Why can’t you just give me another chance? You really think I would do something like that again? I was a twenty-one-year-old girl who made a mistake—”
“Issy, we can’t keep rehashing this conversation like it’s still on the table.”
“But why is it not on the table?”
“Because.”
“Because why?”
“Because I meant what I said before.” That she wasn’t the one. But I didn’t want to say the words. Didn’t want to cut her down even more. Didn’t want to make a difficult time wholly unbearable.
She looked away as if I’d slapped her.
I clenched my eyes shut, hating myself for saying what she didn’t want to hear.
She was quiet for a long time, her tears fully stifled and eyes dry. “I’m tired of asking and begging, so I’m not going to do it anymore. But think about it, Con. Think about the love that’s still here. The love we still have for each other after all this time.”
I opened my eyes and looked at her again.
“You’re always there for me, and I’m always there for you. That is not normal for two people who’ve gone their separate ways. That’s not normal for people who wanted to spend their lives together.”
I knocked on the door to the apartment.
It took a minute for him to answer. There were footsteps, and then the shift of the bolt out of the lock. Then he opened the door and stared at me, like it took him a moment to remember my face. “Constantine, right—”