Total pages in book: 149
Estimated words: 140604 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 703(@200wpm)___ 562(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140604 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 703(@200wpm)___ 562(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Miranda grinned her way. “I think you should take the orgasms. That sounds like a good deal.”
Oh, but they wanted so much more than sex. They might not say it, but they wanted more. They wanted to try.
But she’d had two reminders today about where trying got her.
“I don’t want to make a fool of myself.” She kept her voice low. With the music they might not be able to hear her.
Gigi’s tone went soft. “You are not making a fool of yourself. You never have. Livie, all you’ve ever done was be in a relationship and be kind. It is not your fault that the men ended up being dickheads.”
“Gigi is right,” Miranda added. “There is no foolishness about trying to care for someone.”
“And if I don’t want to try anymore?” Olivia asked.
“Now that is foolishness,” Gigi replied solemnly. “Because letting those morons keep you from the life and the love you deserve is foolish.”
Miranda leaned in. “You’re in a place where you have to decide which road to take. A crossroads of sorts, and I think it’s wrapped up in all the change that’s happened lately. Your brothers got married. Bobby is in love. Your parents are moving into a retirement phase, and you’ve got a lot more responsibility coming.”
She knew her friend was speaking the truth. “Josh and Grim will help me. And Nicole. She’s been learning parts of the business.”
“But they’re going to be nesting, and if what they told me is true, they want to start trying for kids,” Gigi pointed out gently. “Miranda’s right. It’s a lot of change, and with Scott and Jason bursting back in like a horrifying reunion, I worry you might not see it if something good comes into your life. I worry you’ll reject it because you’re scared it will turn bad again. I wonder what might have happened if those two assholes hadn’t decided to tag team you today.”
She seriously doubted Jason and Scott knew each other, much less planned this. It was shitty timing. She was right about that, but she didn’t understand what opportunities it had given her. “Well, Garrett would be at a motel, and Keane would be in the bunkhouse. I had already had the talk with them when Scott showed up.”
“So the universe gave you another chance since you screwed up the first one.” Gigi obviously wasn’t letting this go. “You need to shove the idea of shame and foolishness out of your head. Scott and Jason are the past. They only have the power over you that you give them. So don’t give them any.”
Miranda took her hand and turned it over in her palm, tracing the line she found there. It was a scar from childhood. A memory on her skin. “Were you foolish when you got this?”
Olivia smiled. It had been so long since she thought about the day. “I was the king of the mountain that day. I beat everyone up that hill and came down even faster. A lot of people would call me foolish and a dumb kid and maybe I was, but I still remember what it felt like to have the wind in my hair and the sun on my face, and I was proud. Even when I fell I was proud of how I did it.”
“And that’s why you try,” Gigi concluded. “Even if you don’t want something long term, you take their deal and have fun and even fall in love a little. I don’t think these guys are going to willfully break your heart. Set out your boundaries but have some fun. Let yourself go. Find that kid who beat every boy in Bliss up the mountain.”
She remembered the day and it warmed her. She had been known for being a crazy kid, always running wild and having fun adventures. Her fathers freaked out and also loved how free she was. Her momma had feared for her life at times, but she always talked about how strong her little girl was.
And then she grew up and got caught in the daily grind of responsibilities. She let go of that crazy kid she was and started fearing things she shouldn’t. Failure. Looking like a fool.
Maybe it was time to get that kid back. In the most adult way possible.
She didn’t use to sit around worrying about what people would think of her if she did this or failed at that. She just did it and life was this mighty adventure. If she failed, she tried again. Nothing stopped her when she was a kid.
Her mother kept mentioning how she should get out more, take a vacation. At the time it felt like maybe she wasn’t doing as well as she thought she was. But what if her mom was worried she was drifting too far from who she was, that she could lose that golden part of herself if she never nurtured it?