Total pages in book: 149
Estimated words: 140604 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 703(@200wpm)___ 562(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140604 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 703(@200wpm)___ 562(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
She winced. She had done that. Pro – he knew the business and seemed to get along with her family. Con – not a Dom and wouldn’t even try. Pro – they could talk business for hours. Con – all they could really talk about was business.
“Why did I stay so long?” It was the real question she needed to ask. The truth of the matter was she’d known she didn’t love Scott. She knew it would be a mistake to marry a man she didn’t love, but she stayed.
Miranda put a hand over hers. “Sweetie, you stayed because you thought you would only love one man your entire life, and he couldn’t love you the way you needed. You decided in the back of your mind if you couldn’t have Bobby, it didn’t matter who you were with. In fact, it was better you were with someone who was useful to you and your family. Someone you mostly liked. Someone you couldn’t truly love because deep down you thought you would die loving Bobby, but that’s not true.”
The words hit Olivia like a slap across the face. Not that Miranda meant it that way, but when truth came around after so long it felt almost violent.
She sat there for a moment. How had she not seen it? Miranda was right. She had avoided anyone she might be able to love because it kind of felt like cheating when she was younger, and somehow it went deep. Somehow that belief—that she had met the one and the universe played a trick on her—had settled into her soul, and she didn’t even think about it now.
It was why when she’d wanted to go wild, she’d looked at those two men and told them she wanted their bodies and their dominance and nothing of their deeper selves.
“Olivia, I know we like to read books about finding that one person in the whole world who can complete us. It feels romantic, but the truth of the matter is we’re complete as we are. We don’t need some other half. Love doesn’t have to come like a flash fire when we’re eight.”
Put like that it sounded ridiculous, but it was what had happened. What she believed for so long.
“You need to figure out what you want, Livie,” Miranda said, leaning in so she didn’t have to talk louder. “I think if you really look at it, those men check off a lot of what you need. If you’ll let them in.”
“I already have,” she replied. “I’m falling for them. I’m fighting it. Not the sexy part. I’m obviously all in on that, but emotionally I’m still putting up walls.”
“And they’re being patient.” She squeezed Olivia’s hand. “You don’t have to decide today. Or tomorrow. You can try with them for the next month, but it won’t be real until you tell your parents.”
A knot of dread sat in her gut. Yep. That was something else she had to deal with. “I don’t want them to watch me fail again.”
Miranda groaned. “Shame leads us to make poor choices. Olivia, there is nothing to be ashamed of.”
“My parents have a perfect marriage,” Olivia argued.
“They do not,” Miranda shot back with a smile. “No one has a perfect marriage. No one. My mom and dads seem perfect, and they get along, but I assure you they’ve fought over the years. It’s not about never having confrontation. It’s about how you handle it. Your parents handle it well, but I remember your momma being mad as hell at your dad over how he handled Nicole.”
Oh, who could forget that? Not that she’d been there, but she’d gotten all the tea. Her father thought Nicole had been hiding her past when she’d actually been on the run from a stalker. But all her father had seen was a woman using his sons, and he’d been ruthless.
Her momma had not approved.
It was perfect, but still. “It’s hard to have grown up around all these amazing love stories and to not have one of my own.”
“Yet. It’s not like you’re moving into old age, Livie.”
“They worry about me. They worry I don’t have good instincts. It’s why my mom is always trying to set me up. So does my sister. I think my fathers would prefer if they bought me a husband.”
“No, they would be happiest if you never needed a man at all, and I swear women of a certain age think they’re all matchmakers. You should try to tell Rachel Harper you don’t want to date.”
It was Olivia’s turn to chuckle. She knew the woman who worked with Miranda’s mom. “I’m sure it’s worse in a small town where you’re beloved.”
“Not worse. Just different,” Miranda said quietly. “Give them a chance. I see how they look at you.”
She did, too, but she needed to hear it. “How do they look at me?”