Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 93683 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 468(@200wpm)___ 375(@250wpm)___ 312(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93683 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 468(@200wpm)___ 375(@250wpm)___ 312(@300wpm)
“This is about me!” My pointed fingers jam themselves inward. “I was the one attacked! It was my ass that was grabbed! It was my boyfriend that helped prevent the situation from getting so much worse than it could’ve!”
“Your boyfriend…” he seethes, words sour on his tongue given the way he sneers. “You mean my player.” Disgust deepens on another stomp. “One of my boys!” The reverberations shake everything in the room but me. “You’re fucking one of my boys to get back at me for what exactly?!”
My jaw dropping doesn’t warrant a pause in his tantrum.
“You betrayed me for what?! Had him betray me for fucking what. Gillian?!”
Letters to create words can’t even get close enough together to start a sentence.
“For not being around all summer?! For having a career that needs me?! For taking care of the rest of my fucking family?! For you not being the center of my fucking universe?!”
“No, you narcissistic, self-involved, fucking pylon!” It’s my turn to clomp forward. “Me falling for Thayne had nothing to fucking do with you! Not everything I do revolves around you!” Realization suddenly punches me in the ribcage so hard it knocks the literal wind out of me. “Except…that it does…”
A cocky hand wave in my direction receives a deep glare.
“My entire fucking life has been spent revolving around yours, Milano. Literally since birth. Everything we did, everywhere we went, was for you. Was about you. I didn’t have hobbies that couldn’t work around you and your schedule. I didn’t have dates and boyfriends because of your threats. I barely had my own life in college because I was busy following your career. Supporting your dreams while backburning my own. I was there for your highs, your lows, your insecurities, your marriage, your fears, your…fucking…everything…whenever you needed it because that’s how I grew up. That’s how I was raised. And that’s why…that’s why…I didn’t want you to know about me and Thayne.” My body unconsciously slumps against the edge of the counter I’m near. “Because for the first time…in a really, really long time, Milano, I had something that was actually mine.”
His mouth twitches yet no sound escapes.
“And you know what’s really fucked up?” The curling of my fingers against the edge is done for additional stability, resilience to stand strong in my convictions. “Every single person who found out about us that knows you…their first response wasn’t even about me. It was about you. It was ‘how does your brother feel’ and ‘what does your brother think’ and ‘does your brother know’?” Another headshake of annoyance is delivered. “Even something that should’ve been about me, became about you.”
An unrecognizable emotion bobs his jaw. “Everyone else knew but me?!”
“Seriously?!” New levels of irateness unlock. “You’re still making this shit about you?!”
“I-”
“Let me help!”
“I-”
“Since apparently, I fucking live to make it all about you, since my only purpose in life is to exist for you…for your needs…let me just add that me wanting to be selfish…wanting to keep something just for myself, something just about me, someone just for me might’ve just cost me my entire fucking relationship. Not only the first real relationship I think I’ve ever had, but the only one I’ve ever wanted to keep. And because I let…what we have…somehow become about you – you know naturally – I may lose the person I’m helping raise a teen with, the person I’m selling my fucking house to live with, the person I plan to spend Christmas with, the person I’m going to Frosky’s wedding with, the person I wanna someday marry, the person who is. My. Person.”
Shock yet again cracks his jaw; however, the sound of knocking at the door prevents him from speaking.
Assuming he was going to.
The sight of Thayne’s face in the door is surprising and exciting and heartbreaking all at once.
God, how do I undo the damage I’ve done to him?
“I’m leaving,” he announces, although to who isn’t fresh breath clear.
“You’re benched,” grunts my brother in displeasure. “You don’t get to bitch out and leave.”
“I wasn’t askin’,” Thayne firmly counters. “My family needs me, and Imma be there. Family always comes first.”
“What’s wrong?” Abandonning the position I’m in occurs without hesitation. “Who’s hurt? And how hurt? Is it Bronny? Dubs?”
“Grams.”
“Ohmygod,” I whisper out as I move in closer. “Do we need to leave like right now? Like right this very minute?”
“We-”
“We?!” M explodes from across the room. “There is no we!”
Thayne threatens to let his attention drift over that direction prompting me to step into his view path and repeat myself, “Do we need to leave right this second?”
“Yeah.” His eyes stay with mine. “Dubs says she’s stable but for how long…is…” His shoulders defeatedly bounce. “We need to go.” He briefly presses his lips together and adjusts his gear bag. “I need to go.”