Total pages in book: 254
Estimated words: 240032 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1200(@200wpm)___ 960(@250wpm)___ 800(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 240032 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1200(@200wpm)___ 960(@250wpm)___ 800(@300wpm)
“You’re fine with that?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because—”
“Cricket.” He almost sighed. “If I could pick one person to have your gift—it is a gift, Nina, your face says you don’t believe that, but it’s true—I would pick you.”
I pressed my lips together, and his expression went so tender, I wanted to throw my arms around him.
“You’re the kindest and one of the most loving people I’ve ever met. I knew it minutes after I saw you. That’s why you smell like a honey bun. That’s how love and kindness come across. Who better to have the power you have than someone who understands the value of life the way you do? It’d be so easy to do with that whatever you wanted, and I can’t imagine what your fucking parent has to be like if you got it from them, but you’re no angel of death. You’re an angel of….” Henri’s forehead wrinkled.
“Of?” The word came out a little broken. So much hope hung on whatever his answer would be.
Those beautiful eyes roamed my face as he drew a circle over my back with his thumb. After a moment, he nodded. “Love.”
There was no stopping me then.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, and I felt relief punch through my lungs during the longest exhale of my life.
I’d hoped my whole life that someone would see what was truly inside of me, someone who could see beyond my skin suit and my parents’ inheritance. And I had been so lucky so far to find a few people that did. But for a long time, I’d resigned myself to having to live the rest of my life through a filter, without someone I could share everything with, and then one day, the universe gave me the most perfect boy, and that boy gave me a choice that led me here.
To someone who could see me, maybe not for who I always was, but who I wanted to be.
And I squeezed that MFer as tight as I could, telling him thank you with my whole body.
Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for accepting me. Thank you for being who he was.
Warm arms wrapped around the middle of my back, and the next thing I felt was Henri drawing me into his body like we were two pieces that fit together.
But….
“You aren’t just letting me borrow money or a car, Fluffy. This would be our whole lives. You’d be stuck with me forever. I know what you promised Matti, but that still doesn’t mean you need to do this if you don’t want to,” I rambled out in dang near one breath, my mouth mostly buried against the crook in his neck.
He hugged me tighter. “I’m not doing you a favor, and you’re not doing me one either. And you’re damn right this would be our whole lives.” His words were muffled into my hair, but I understood. “You think I do things that I don’t want to?”
“I think you would be willing to do things that you feel obligated to if they’re for the best of your people.”
Arms loosening, he leaned back. His expression was clear. His face open.
“See? I’m sure you don’t do things that you don’t really want to, but there’s some gray area there too.” I hadn’t let go of his neck and still wouldn’t. “You’re one of the most responsible people I’ve ever met. Responsible people are the least selfish people there are. That’s what you meant earlier, isn’t it? About not doing what you wanted to?”
He stayed right where he was too, still watching me that way he did when I thought he might be seeing me through a different scope.
Maybe we hadn’t known each other all that long as adults, but I felt like I understood him. The essence of him. And I thought that maybe he’d been Atlas once upon a time, with the weight of the world on those powerful shoulders.
It made me love him a little more.
“And I appreciate that you aren’t trying to lie to yourself or me and say, ‘No, I don’t,’ because we both know it’s the truth.” I nudged him and smiled. “You’re a good man. It’s one of my favorite things about you.
“But this isn’t you having to be decent to people who get on your nerves because you have manners. This is your life. Your future. And I don’t want to take that away from you, even if I really like sitting on your lap and kissing you and just spending time with you in general.” I braced myself. “And even if I am a little in love with you,” I told him honestly.
Those perfect nostrils flared, and Henri leaned in enough to press his forehead to mine. “You miss the part where I said you’re mine? Where I told you that you’re my priority over every other person here? Or anywhere else? Have you missed me losing my shit every time I’ve thought that I might lose you?” Those amber eyes bounced around my face for a moment, then two, and then he said in a harsh voice, “Everything you said just now is why I want to do this with you. Why I feel the way I do about you. Because you’re responsible enough to acknowledge that, to worry about it. Anybody else wouldn’t give a shit about what was best for someone else as long as it worked in their favor, but you do.” He let go of me with one arm and used that hand to wrap around the nape of my neck. “You’re a good person, and I could look at your face all day, and every single part of your body might be straight from a fantasy.”