Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 88060 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88060 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
“She’s good. I’m honestly surprised she hasn’t stopped by to visit. She was so good about it with Hope, and I know she loved helping with Winnie.”
Great. More guilt piled on, and it felt like someone kicked me right in the chest. Did I dare tell Nathan that the last time I saw Aurora I had been awful to her? I said things I didn’t mean, and it upset her and caused her to leave. I had been in a bad place that day, and unfortunately, Aurora Banks had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I stood. “Do me a favor?”
“Sure.”
“The last time Aurora was here I said some pretty shitty things to her. She hasn’t spoken to me since. That was back in March.”
His brow went up. “What did you say?”
I exhaled and pushed my hand through my hair. “I accused her of trying to replace Hope in Winnie’s life and…” I stopped before I added ‘and in my life’. Clearing my throat, I went on, “I asked her if it had been her plan all along.”
Nathan took a step back as anger grew in his eyes. He drew in a slow breath and exhaled. “She was Hope’s friend, as well as yours, Liam. All she ever wanted to do was help you both out, and you knew how much she loved Winnie. I thought the two of you were friends.”
“We were. We are!”
“Are you seriously saying you are trying to tell me you thought my baby sister wanted to take Hope’s place?”
With a shake of my head, I replied, “No. I mean, I was drunk and I implied it. Winnie was upset, and she wouldn’t settle down for me when I was trying to get her to go to bed. She only wanted Aurora and it pissed me off. I said the only thing I could think of to push her away.”
Slowly shaking his head, Nathan closed his eyes. “I’m trying really hard not to punch you right now, Liam.” He opened his eyes and stared at me. “You were trying to push her away, why? Because Winnie wanted Aurora to put her to bed? Or is it because you were drunk and maybe you wanted to go to bed with my sister?”
I stared at Nathan. Not because what he said shocked me, but because what he said was spot on.
“I was drunk and upset. Winnie wasn’t asking for Hope, she was asking for Aurora and it fucked with my head.”
“Have you apologized to her? I certainly fucking hope so.”
“No,” I whispered.
“Your grief or guilt or whatever the fuck it is doesn’t give you an open invite to treat people like shit. Especially my sister. You should know that.”
“I do know that, Nathan. I’m actually surprised she didn’t tell you about that night.”
“She wouldn’t have,” he said with a sigh. “She knows how close we are and she would never want to ruin our friendship.”
I scrubbed my hands down my face before dropping them to my side. “Please tell her I said hi and that Winnie and I would love to see her if she wants to stop by and visit.”
Nathan stared at me, and I was waiting for him to tell me to go to hell. “Yeah, sure. I’ll tell her. And that’s when you can apologize if she’ll even see your stupid ass.”
He turned and went to leave, then stopped. Turning around, he looked at me. “You said this happened in March?”
I nodded, “Yeah.”
He looked away in thought.
“Why?”
Turning back to me, he said, “I was just wondering.”
He walked back into the house, leaving me standing there, wondering why he wanted to know exactly when I fucked up.
Two weeks had passed since Mary had returned to New York City, and I resumed working full time at The Muddled Moose. I swung my legs out of bed and stood. Making my way to the bathroom, I took care of my business, splashed my face, and took a few breaths as I stared at myself in the mirror before heading to Winnie’s room. The realization hit me that she no longer cried for Hope or asked about Mommy. She had even stopped asking about Aurora. I showed her Hope’s picture every single day and told her to say good morning to Mommy in heaven. She would say, ‘Good morning,’ and tell Hope to have a good day, then grab Perry the Moose, her stuffed animal that was a gift from Aurora, and tell me she wanted pancakes for breakfast. Perry was the town’s mascot, and apparently my daughter’s favorite stuffed animal.
“You have to get your shit together.”
I’d now reached the point in this widower journey where I was talking to myself. Fucking fabulous.
“Daddyyyy!”
I smiled when I heard Winnie’s sweet voice coming from the baby monitor. I walked out of the bathroom and glanced at the camera. Winnie was sitting up in her bed, Perry tucked under her arm. The stuffed animal was soft, and Winnie would tuck its antlers up under her chin when she fell asleep. That kid dragged this moose almost everywhere.