Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 99399 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99399 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
But as I’d settled down each night in my freezing tent, I hadn’t been able to get Wolfe off my mind.
I’d fucked up. Royally.
I’d fucking kissed him.
Wolfe Marian was family. Untouchable.
Meant for protecting, adoring, but not touching. Never touching. Not like that.
But after six years of keeping my personal distance, white-knuckling to keep him firmly in the “Derek and Jude’s kid” category despite beginning to see him as so much more, I’d lost control for one fucking moment and tasted him.
And that kiss had changed everything.
It had turned the embers in my chest into a full-on raging inferno again after I’d semi-successfully banked those fuckers into submission six years ago. Had become brain wallpaper I couldn’t scrape off, no matter how hard I tried.
Now I had to live with the fact that I’d upset Wolfe. And worse, that I’d put my relationship with Derek and the rest of the Marians at risk, all because of my inappropriate attraction.
Before I even made it to a hot shower in my cabin, I found my phone on the bedside table and powered it on. Messages and notifications poured in as I shucked off my clothes and turned on the water in the shower.
I stood under the hot spray for several long minutes, feeling weeks of dried sweat and dirt sluice off. The sound of my groans filled the room as my muscles unclenched and relaxed. Showers after backcountry camping were nirvana, and I took advantage of every ounce of my hot water heater’s capacity.
When I finally stepped out, warm enough to only leave the towel wrapped around my waist, I glanced down at the phone screen.
Derek
Call me back ASAP. It’s about Wolfe.
Did he know? Had Wolfe told him about the kiss? Enough to make me persona non grata with the Marians? No more Thanksgiving or time spent hanging around their pool in summer. It would be my worst nightmare come true.
I scrambled to open the phone and click into the text thread. Shit. Multiple missed messages. Derek had been trying to get in touch with me for a full week.
He picked up on the first ring.
“Hey. Robyn said you were on a training trip,” he said. “I told her not to interrupt.”
“What’s going on?” My heart thundered as I scrambled to find clean clothes in my dresser. “What’s wrong with Wolfe?”
“He’s missing. We haven’t heard from him, and we’re starting to worry.”
“Missing?” I asked stupidly. “What do you mean, missing?”
Even if they didn’t use an app like Life360, Derek Marian would still have trackers on his family members. He was an ex-military personal security specialist who stayed up-to-date on tech through his relationship with On Your Six Security. There was no way Derek couldn’t tell you the exact location of his husband and kids at any time.
“He took off a few weeks ago. Said he needed some space and not to contact him. Which was fine, but—”
Blood began to roar in my ears. “Wait. Wait. When?”
“Mid-February. He went to Majestic for a meeting and never came back. Sent us a fucking email asking for space. Said he needed to think about some things and he’d be in touch. But it’s been eight weeks now, and Jude’s losing it—”
I heard his husband’s softer voice in the background, calling him out for hiding the fact that Derek was just as upset as Jude was.
“Eight weeks?” I asked, hoping like hell I’d heard wrong, even though I knew I hadn’t. That was when I’d seen him last.
Had he left… because of me?
“Can’t you track his phone?” I asked.
“He left all of his electronics behind at the house in Legacy. Said he was going on a road trip to clear his mind and think about the next chapter in his life.”
I sat heavily on the edge of my bed as my entire body began to shake. “Is he…” I couldn’t figure out how to say it without upsetting Derek, but neither of us was stupid. It was one of the first questions we tackled in any SaR situation. “Do you think he’d hurt himself?”
Derek blew out a breath. “We weren’t sure. But Rosie started getting messages through her Instagram from random accounts saying he was okay.”
“What do you mean?”
“Couple times a week, she gets a DM from someone saying, ‘This is your brother. I’m okay. Tell the dads.’”
I closed my eyes and sent up a silent prayer of gratitude as oxygen finally made its way into my lungs again. “So he just…”
“Ran away from home,” Derek said dejectedly.
“Do you know why?” I asked, trying to sound normal instead of guilty because I’d fucking caused this.
Me and my callous disregard for his fucking feelings.
Me and my impossibly mixed signals.
Fuck.
I’d spent a lot of time in the past two months regretting my behavior the night of the kiss. I’d quickly realized that I’d treated Patrick with more kindness than I’d shown Wolfe. And I cared a hell of a lot more about Wolfe than I ever would Patrick.