Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 99399 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99399 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Eventually, we were appropriately caffeinated and fed. Trace took the opportunity to return to his own campsite to grab a change of clothes while I started making a packed lunch for our hike.
Within thirty minutes, we were parking at the trailhead, and Trace was slinging my small daypack onto his shoulder.
I felt a mix of giddiness and nerves. Happy I was there alone on the trail with him as I’d always fantasized. Nervous as fuck that I’d screw it up somehow and make this end even sooner.
“Been a while since we’ve been on a hike together, hasn’t it?” He grinned across the roof of his rental car at me.
He’d said something like that last night, too, and I’d been too fucked out to address it.
“Whose fault is that?” I kept my tone light but couldn’t help raising my eyebrows in challenge. “I’m not the one who moved to fucking Montana.”
“Right.” Trace moved around the vehicle. “Let’s talk about this.”
Fuck. Well, I guess it hadn’t taken me long to screw things up, had it? I was my own worst enemy sometimes. “Not if you don’t want to.”
Trace reached for my hand, holding it in his strong grip. The heat of his stare warmed the side of my face. “I do want to.” He nodded at the entrance to the trail. “Let’s go.”
In addition to being too early in the season, it was also early in the morning. Ours was the only car at the trailhead. As we walked into the trees, I appreciated the privacy. I didn’t feel the need to rush it, so I let the silence drag out as we walked.
After a few moments, Trace took the lead. “How much do you know about my situation before I met Derek?”
I glanced over in surprise. “I know you were working in the bar he was at with his friends, the night you saved him. That you’d had a shitty upbringing in a small town.” I glanced from the uneven trail floor back up to his face. “I overheard my dads talking about it once. Saying your parents kicked you out. I never wanted to pry, so I didn’t ask.”
He nodded. “They kicked me out before I finished high school. I made my way to San Francisco, mostly because I figured there’d be shelters and programs there that could help, but it was still hard. Really fucking hard. Even when I found work, I still couldn’t afford to rent a room.”
I glanced at him, my heart rate increasing more from the stress of his experience than the increasing incline of the trail. “But Marian House could have—”
“I didn’t know it existed,” Trace said, cutting me off. “Your family does amazing work, but it’s hard to get the word out about their programs to people without phones or internet. And anyway… I went through a phase where I didn’t want anything to do with my queer identity. I blamed it for all my problems. If I’d learned about a program for queer kids, I’d probably have stayed away.”
“I’m sorry,” I finally said when I couldn’t hold back any longer. “That must have been so fucking hard.”
“It was.” He squeezed my hand. “But it led me to you. To Derek and Jude. To SERA.”
The mention of SERA reminded me that Trace was living his dream. He hadn’t only left San Francisco because of me. He’d been building the future he’d always wanted.
“I’m proud of you. SERA is amazing.” I took in a breath. “I read the recent article in Outdoor magazine.”
I didn’t add that I’d listened to the older NPR interview with him approximately ten thousand times, just so I could fall asleep to the sound of his voice.
He flashed a grin at me. “Read the article or pinned up the photo spread?”
Heat rushed to my face. So what if one of the photos had ended up taped to the inside of my journal?
“They called it the ‘elite Montana wilderness rescue school that could save your life one day.’ I think that’s amazing.”
Trace tilted his chin down. “Yeah. I’m proud of what we’ve accomplished.”
It was a humble understatement. After a few more silent moments walking the trail, he returned to the original topic.
“I was in a bad place when Derek met me. Pretty much living on the street. A few of the other kids were selling their bodies for cash. I hadn’t done it yet, but I’d thought long and hard about it. Thought about using, too. I was dead on my feet, working at the bar that night. Don’t even remember half of what happened. But when your dad realized the situation I was in and offered to help, it was like…”
He blew out a breath. “It was like a wish being granted by a genie. Made me even wonder if my mom had been right about god, you know? Suddenly, I had this big, rich guy bound and determined to take care of me.”