Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 111089 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 555(@200wpm)___ 444(@250wpm)___ 370(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111089 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 555(@200wpm)___ 444(@250wpm)___ 370(@300wpm)
There was this fear within me that Maya must’ve been able to catch on, that surely if his actions didn’t give us away, then my reaction would, but she seemed too involved in her story about her coworkers to notice.
My cheeks remained warm, like a low rumbling fire lingered just beneath my flesh. My breathing steadied, my mind where it shouldn’t have been as I thought about those wet lips…and his eyes on me, filled with that familiar determination.
So very fucking inappropriate.
21
Kyle
I wasn’t sure if I was imagining things, but that spoon tasted like him, like that flavor I’d gotten to enjoy for far too brief a moment. I let the metal linger on my tongue, knowing I must’ve absorbed what bit of his saliva remained on the spoon. I didn’t stop looking at him, and I could tell he was trying to avoid looking back, the way he would in class. But God, I could feel his desire to, as if it were pulsing through my goddamn veins.
Look at me, goddammit.
I tried to psychically speak to him, as I would sometimes in class.
He just needed to give me a peek so I could get that rush that thrilled me in a way that always left me wanting more, but even when he did that, it only made me realize he could grant me so much and then strip it from me so quickly.
That seemed cruel. And so fucking unfair.
I thought about all my attempts at getting my truth down. I’d finally mustered the strength to bring something with me, having committed to myself to hand it over to him.
But now that he was so close and I knew I could make the opportunity, it seemed foolish. He wouldn’t understand. He might even judge me for the way I had my heart scattered across paper.
I didn’t want to give that to anyone, but I knew it was the only chance I had at finding out the truth about him. It was a risk I was willing to take.
After we finished dessert, James and I parted ways again as we continued catching up with everyone. Whenever I had the chance, I positioned myself so I could see where he was in the room. I would need to keep my eyes on him, and just knowing he was there was enough. I’d be able to tell when the right moment was, feel it and let it guide me to sharing the unshareable.
I found that chance when he excused himself from the group he was talking with. He appeared to be heading for the bathroom, so I slipped away from the guys I was talking to before finding him in line behind several others.
“Hey, follow me,” I told him.
He looked at me with a fair amount of suspicion, as he should have, but did as I told him, almost as if he knew I wouldn’t have pulled him away without a good reason.
“Here,” I said, guiding him to the upstairs bathroom. “Maya showed me earlier. Said it was fine for us to use.” I waved him inside.
“No, you can go ahead.”
“You were first in line. It’s only fair.”
That suspicion lingered in his expression before he stepped in, and I was right on his heels, closing the door behind us.
He whirled around.
I hadn’t meant to cave to my desire, but he was so close and his lips were right there. I wasn’t going to deny myself anything, and he was going to have to stop me, if that’s what he wanted. I pushed him back against the wall between the toilet and the bathroom sink, keeping just enough distance, but moving my lips closer.
Why didn’t he fucking push me away? Why did he make this so fucking hard?
I had to use every bit of strength in me to keep a minimal distance between us. It wasn’t right for me to push when so much was at stake for him.
His lemon-scented breath filled my nose.
He licked his lips like he was wetting them so I could take them.
As my body recalled how it had felt to kiss him in the library, I knew if I went any further, it might be too late for either of us to stop.
Push me away. Tell me no.
But he didn’t. Of course he fucking didn’t. He wanted me as bad as I wanted him.
And it was cruel to do this to him.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I said quickly, pulling away, and he stood still, looking at me with surprise, but it was clear by his expression, not totally against my actions. “I just needed a moment.”
“It’s fine.” As the words came out of his mouth, seeing that beautiful face, it was still too much…
I could do this. I could fucking control myself around him, if only because I had no other choice.