Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 84370 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84370 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“Copeland’s not—” she starts, and my hard stare cuts her off. She clears her throat. “There has to be more to it, Ellison. I’ve said that from the very beginning. I was there, Ellie. I saw the way his eyes lit up when you walked into a room. I watched him ignore every other girl in our school but you. He loved you. You can’t fake that.”
“Yeah, well, I guess even that wasn’t enough because he still left me. He left my heart shattered in a million tiny pieces, and even after seventeen years, those pieces are still scattered on the ground.”
“And tonight?”
I shrug, because I don’t have an answer for her. He was mad—that was obvious. But he had no right to be. “Old habits die hard, I guess,” I finally say.
“Looked pretty intense to me, and the way he tossed you over his shoulder. Damn,” she says, fanning her face. “And I’m just going to toss this out there, but the Marines were good to your man. Time has not aged him. Did you see those arms?”
“I didn’t notice,” I deadpan, and she rolls her eyes dramatically.
“Right.” She nods. “I’ve got some oceanfront property just down the street. I’ll sell you.” She snickers.
“Fine. I might have noticed.”
“Kind of hard not to when he manhandles you and carries your ass out of the bar.”
“I’m not his to manhandle.”
“Aren’t you?”
I glare at her, but she doesn’t seem to mind.
“I’m just saying. You love him. You always will, and until that changes, whether he knows it or not, you’re his. At least your heart is. I’d say by the way he carried you out of the Hideaway and had you pinned up against his truck, he agrees.”
“Can we talk about something else?” I plead.
“No, I like this topic.” She smirks.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Kinzie.”
“I don’t want you to say anything. Just acknowledge the fact that there’s something still there between the two of you.”
“It’s all one-sided, trust me. I foolishly gave him my entire heart, and when he left, he took it with him. Now, here I am, still nothing to show for all the years it’s been his.” I pause, collecting my thoughts. “I want to be a mom,” I confess quietly. “I want a husband, a partner for this life. I want a home that’s not a few hundred feet from my office door. I want sleepy morning sex before the kids wake up. I want chaos and laughter, and I’m scared as hell that I’ll never have that.”
“Ellison, that’s not true.”
“Every man I’ve ever been with romantically, I compare to him. I compare the love I found when I was a teenager to the love I want to find now. The dreams we had, they were real, and they were here.” I tap at my chest. “No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to let them go. I still want all the same things, but unless I learn how not to love him, I’m going to die an old cat lady, with no husband and no kids, just me and my pussies for company.”
“I think Baylor and Courtlynn are rubbing off on you. Thankfully, there’s still hope for Leighton,” she teases.
“Doubtful. You know it’s the quiet ones you always have to watch out for.”
She nods. “So true.” Reaching over, she takes my hand in hers. “You can have all of that, Ellison. You’re still young.”
“I’m thirty-two. I want babies.” I pause, leery of telling her the rest of it. Kinzie and my sisters know everything about me. We don’t have secrets, but I do have this one.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks, tilting her head to the side to study me.
“I’ve thought about doing it on my own. They have fertility clinics, or there’s even adoption.”
“What?” She sits up straighter, her mouth hanging open in shock. “Why have you never told me this before?”’
“Because if a single woman is getting pregnant on purpose with a turkey baster, or adopting on her own, I know what people will say. This is a small town. ‘That James boy broke her heart, and now, she has to use a stranger’s spunk or adopt a kid, because she’s unlovable,’” I say, wiping at my cheeks.
“Ellison Marie! Why would you say that?” There’s fire in her eyes. “Yes, this is a small town, but it’s no one’s damn business what you decide to do with your life.” She leans in close, holding my gaze. “And if I ever hear you say you’re unlovable again, I’ll… well, I don’t know what I’ll do, but you won’t like it. Where is your head at right now? Please tell me you don’t believe that. I love you. Your sisters, your grandparents, and the guys love you. That’s just the short list off the top of my head. You are so many things for so many people, and I’m going to go ahead and toss this out there, but I know Copeland loves you, too.”