Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 84370 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84370 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
She nods. “Same.”
I want to demand names and addresses, but I know that I have no right. Hell, until a couple of months ago, I assumed she was married with a family. Besides, all that matters is that this woman is my future, just like she was always meant to be.
“I’m not on birth control.” She huffs out a humorless laugh. “I let you dickmatize me, and this is where we landed,” she says, reaching for her clothes.
I sit up and reach for her hand. She allows me to lace my fingers with hers and pull her close. “I’m right here, Ells. No matter what happens. I’m where you are from here on out.”
She tears her hand from mine and takes a step back. “You really expect me to believe that?” she asks. She hastily steps into her leggings, sans panties, and pulls her long-sleeve T-shirt, no bra, over her head, crossing her arms over her chest. “You left me, Copeland. You just fucking left me,” she says, her voice growing louder.
“I fucked up. I should have explained, but I didn’t know how. Ellison, the need to make sure you were taken care of if you were to lose me like we lost my dad, it rooted inside me, and I couldn’t let it go. I had to do it.”
“Then you should have fucking talked to me!” she roars.
I reach for her again, but she shakes her head and steps out of my reach. Quickly, I grab my clothes and start to get dressed. She tosses my shirt at me. “It’s time for you to go.”
“What? No. Not like this. Not after that.” I point to the bed.
“It was easy for you the last time. I’m sure you remember how,” she says, turning, yanking open the door, and rushing down the stairs.
I pull my shirt on over my head and rush after her. I find her pacing the living room once again. I approach carefully. “Ells.”
“No. No, Copeland. Don’t Ells me,” she spits.
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask about birth control, but baby, there is nothing to worry about. We always said we wanted a family.”
I thought my words would be soothing, but instead, big, fat tears roll down her cheeks as she angrily swipes them away and shakes her head. “That was the dream, until you left me. Mysterious letters be damned, you were here, and you didn’t come to me. You made an assumption, and you walked away, Copeland. I wasn’t enough then. What makes you think I’m going to believe that I’m enough now?”
“You were enough, Ells. You’ve always been enough. You’re everything.” I try again to reach for her, but she evades my touch.
“It’s time for you to go.”
“What’s going on here, Ellison?”
She stops her retreat and stares me in the eye. “I’m trying not to love you,” she whispers brokenly.
“Stop. Don’t—baby, don’t,” I say, reaching for her again, but she folds into herself, as if my touch repulses her.
“Just go.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t want you to go back then either. We don’t always get what we want,” she seethes.
I sigh. Tonight, my time with her is over. No matter what I say right now, tensions are high, as are our emotions. Fuck, mine are too big to name, too big to put into words. We need some time to cool off, to let the words we’ve said, and the ones we didn’t, play out.
“I’ll go, but I’ll be back,” I tell her.
“It’s best if you don’t.”
“I thought I knew best once. It turns out, I fucked it up. Guess what, Ells, I’m a smart man. I learn from my mistakes, and letting you go, not fighting for you, is not one I’ll make again.”
It takes two long strides to reach her, and I wrap her in my arms, holding her tightly. “I love you, Ellison,” I whisper as I place my lips against her temple. Knowing that I’m pushing my luck, I release her, turn, and walk out the door.
I can’t go back to my room. I can’t go to my mom’s. Fuck, the only place in this entire damn planet that feels like home is her. So, instead, I get in my truck, and I drive. I take the backroads and let my mind wander. I need a plan, because I meant what I said: I’m not going down without a fight.
“I’m coming for you, baby,” I whisper into the empty cab of my truck.
I’m coming for you.
Thirteen
Ellison
* * *
As soon as the door closes with a soft click, I fall to the floor, curl into a ball, and cry. I let out all the pain, the heartache, and the hope.
Pain for the years that we missed out on. For the fact that so much damn miscommunication has landed us where we are today.