Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 121871 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121871 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
As she calmed a little, I stroked her hair and bent my head to whisper, “I can’t answer those questions, sweetheart. But I can tell you that for every day you’ve felt unloved by her, your father, your grandmother, this entire village, has loved you beyond imagining. You are so loved, Kelly. So deeply, deeply loved. And I know it can’t soothe the hurt your mom has caused, but I need you to know you are never alone. Your dad loves you more than life itself. And you have me. I will always be here for you,” I vowed, because I would. No matter what happened with me and her father, I would keep this promise.
Kelly nodded, sniffling as she finally eased away. She wiped frantically at her tears and laughed sadly when I tucked strands of hair that had gotten stuck on her wet cheeks behind her ears. She drew her forearm over her nose, looking so much younger than her years in that moment, and I couldn’t help but feel heartbroken for her.
For all my parents’ neglect, Tierney and I had avoided the crowd at school who were into destroying their own innocence early. I hadn’t been subjected to extremely adult things too young. I knew girls who had, though. I knew how cynical and hard they’d become because of it. And I’d never wish what Kelly had gone through and was going through on my worst enemy, let alone this beautiful girl. I didn’t want to see it change her.
“Sorry.” Her shoulders slumped as she sniffed several times. “Didn’t mean to break down on you.”
I stroked her cheek. “I think you needed to let it out. You can break down on me anytime.”
To my relief, Kelly giggled. “Okay.” She exhaled. “Can we learn the pre-chorus and the chorus now?”
The way she looked up at me, with a renewed light in her eyes, made me feel a hundred feet tall. It made me feel … useful. Like I’d done something right and good for once.
Somewhat overcome, I nodded. “Of course.” I leaned over to press a kiss to her temple and caught movement in my periphery. As I pulled back, I looked over at the doorway and saw Murray standing there, eyes bright with emotion. He lowered his chin, expression filled with gratitude, and I gave him a tremulous smile before I turned back to the piano and my lesson with Kelly.
27. London
Wednesday morning as I pulled my car into the B and B parking lot, my phone beeped several times, almost frantically. There was something about the rapid-fire text notifications that sent a shiver down my spine as I switched off the engine and reached for my purse. I rummaged through it for the device and reluctantly withdrew it.
The dread in my gut was validated at the sight of the unknown number texting me.
Heart in my throat, my anger mingled with fear as I tapped on the screen to open the thread.
You think I’m scared of your government dog?
Haven’t you learned your lesson yet?
No one can touch me or my family.
You think because I haven’t come for you yet that you’re off the hook?
That cunt is mine and soon I’m going to tug on its chain.
If I find his scent on it … I’m going to kill him. And his daughter.
And I’ll make you watch.
I’m coming for you.
You’ll learn to be a good girl again.
I love you so much.
Suddenly the air in the car seemed too thin. I shoved open the door, gasping for air as my chest tightened and tightened, suffocating me. The world spun, my vision going in and out as my body heaved for breath. For oxygen. My heart raced too fast. Too hard. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t see properly.
I was dying.
I’m dying.
Oh my God, I’m dying.
“Spoon! Spoon!”
“London!”
I was only vaguely aware of their voices at first, splodgy shapes across my broken vision.
“Just breathe with me, London,” a deep familiar voice commanded.
Cool hands cupped my cheeks and Ramsay’s face suddenly came into focus. “Breathe, London. In and out,” he instructed calmly, and then he inhaled and exhaled slowly. “Focus on me and on your breathing.”
Like my body knew before my brain did that it needed to follow his lead, I started to inhale and exhale slowly on autopilot. In a while, the fast heaving of my chest calmed, and the world started to come back into focus.
My butt was cold and uncomfortable because I was sitting on the gravel ground, my back against my car, Nee and Ramsay knelt in front of me. Nee’s face was pale, her eyes wide with worry. Ramsay was stoic as always, but I saw the glimmer of concern in his expression.
“Spoon, what happened?”
There was sticky wet on my cheeks, and I reached to touch them, realizing I’d been crying too. It took a minute for it to come back to me, and I was seized by that sharp compression around my chest.