Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 95627 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 383(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95627 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 383(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
I could turn around.
That was an option.
Walk back to the apartment and sneak back in the same way I snuck out and no one would ever have to know. All I'd have to do was deal with Artem's company occasionally, and everything I needed to work toward my dreams would be handed to me. Was going to the best restaurants, or having mind-blowing sex, really that much of a sacrifice?
My body flushed hot at the memory of his hands on me. The way he could make me feel with just a touch, a look. The way his mouth claimed mine like he owned me.
Or did it make me the whore my father tried to use me as?
I didn't know.
Nothing was ever said about me having to sleep with Artem for my tuition, and really, the only times he had put his hands on me, it was because I was acting out.
If I’d never gone to that frat party, he would never have had to come get me. Had I never gone to his apartment to yell at him for his heavy-handed control, I doubted we would have ended up in his bed.
But did that make a difference?
Had I been handed a golden opportunity, only to fuck it up?
I thought back to the "date" we had. More importantly, I thought back to what came after our date, when he took me home and didn't push his way inside. He let me choose whether to invite him in or not.
He didn't make a move, he just kissed my forehead in a way that felt like he cherished me, pulling me into the hallway instead of stepping into my apartment.
It seemed to be an example of my having some control, but I had to remember it was just an illusion. Earlier, he had walked right into the apartment while I was getting ready. Reminding me the apartment was his, as was I.
He even told me that tonight I was having it my way, but only for tonight. What did that even mean? What did I want it to mean?
My head swam as I took my seat in the nearly empty train car. I pressed the brim of my hat down, covering my eyes, and leaned against the cool window, letting the chill seep past my jacket and cool my heated skin.
For now, I had escaped Artem and the gilded cage he put me in.
The only thing left to do was to figure out what my next steps would be. I had friends in Philadelphia. Ones I'd gone to community college with who then moved north. I could head to them first, stay with them for only a night, maybe two, to get my bearings and decide on a plan.
I had no family, no support system.
What I had were several ambitions, but no way to work toward them.
Okay. Before I did anything else I had to get a good fake ID and then I was going to need more money. Find a job waiting tables or something. Something that would allow me to grow and thrive.
There were no entry-level jobs that would come close to paying for a college education, and a fake ID would never be good enough to get a federal student loan.
The only thing I could think of that would bring in the money I needed and still give me time to study was...something illegal. If that was the route I was going to take, then I may as well have worked for my father before he was killed.
Then I realized that neither one of those options was remotely possible. Even the scraping-the-bottom-of-the-barrel last resort was impossible. If I worked at one of those online subscription services, then someone would see me for sure, and tell Artem. If I worked outside the law, someone would recognize me and tell Artem.
The more my mind raced, the faster panic set in.
My heart was beating out of my chest, and I realized I had made a massive mistake.
One that I could never escape.
If Artem found me, what would he do to me?
I'd thought none of this through.
Would I be punished again? Would it be worse than before? Or would it end the same way?
What was I thinking, running from a man like him?
I saw firsthand the fear he inspired in the eyes of the restaurant staff. I had just run from a predator. Gave him something to chase. And for what?
So I could live my life on my terms? Putting myself in this situation meant my terms changed. It wouldn't be about finding a reputable way to escape my family's legacy and make something of myself. It would be about going into survival mode.
I jumped from his gilded cage and landed in a fire.
Panic crawled up my chest, reaching my throat and constricting my breathing. The walls of the train seemed to close in on me, and I suddenly wanted off.