Total pages in book: 214
Estimated words: 195876 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 979(@200wpm)___ 784(@250wpm)___ 653(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 195876 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 979(@200wpm)___ 784(@250wpm)___ 653(@300wpm)
"So you're protecting me by making sure they can find both the people they want to kill in the same room? I thought you were supposed to be a military strategist, Raith."
I sense his frustration. "I'm not leaving you alone tonight. End of discussion."
"I wasn't asking you to. I just like hearing you try to justify it." I step toward the bed, turn my back, and then casually strip out of my clothes, making sure to bend very low and very long to unstrap my shoes. I can feel the heat of his gaze on my ass—the barely controlled temptation throbbing through him and the desire to put his hands on me, to take me.
To fuck me.
I finally steal a look over my shoulder. “Well? Are you going to come to bed with me, or stand in the corner like a gargoyle while I sleep?” I sit on the edge of the bed, crossing my thighs and patting the bed beside me.
He hesitates, then moves to sit, the mattress dipping under his weight. We sit in silence for a moment, the space between us charged with everything we aren't saying.
"I keep thinking about what Serena told us," I admit finally as I work on taking my hair from its braids. "About the magical blackout during the Crucible that'll keep the emissaries from watching. About the windborne. If she's telling the truth, I just don't understand it. Why would Empire sacrifice potential primals just to get rid of Voss?"
"It's not our concern."
"How can you say that? If Empire is sending assassins into a training exercise—"
"Empire does what Empire needs to do," he cuts in, his voice low and controlled. "Our job is to survive. Nothing more."
I turn to face him, frustration building. "Is that really all you care about? Surviving?"
"Tomorrow, all I care about is you surviving."
The simplicity of his answer steals my breath. I shake my head. "That's not true. You care about Cade. The fires. They look up to you like a big brother."
"That's true. But..." He rakes a hand through his hair, jaw ticking with his barely controlled emotions. "Losing you? I… can’t. I just fucking can’t," Before I can respond, he stands and moves to the window, gazing out at the darkened campus.
"You should sleep," he says, his back to me. "I'll wake you if anything happens."
I would feel offended that he’s not currently taking my very obvious offer for sex, but I can feel what he’s feeling—shadows of it, at least. Desire. Temptation. Arousal. Yes, that’s all there as clear as day. But he also feels frustration with himself.
He’s frustrated that he let himself feel so much for me. That he opened himself to weakness. Nothing I say or do right now can change that. All I can do is resolve to be strong tomorrow. For myself. For my friends. For Raith. Because his words aren't empty. He really doesn't think he would survive if something happened to me.
I find myself lying down, pulling the blanket over my shoulders as I watch him silently standing vigil.
"You need rest too," I murmur, my eyes growing heavy despite my racing thoughts.
He turns slightly, his profile outlined against the moonlight. "I'll be fine."
"Raith," I whisper, "just come lie down. Please. It will help me sleep if you're here with me."
For a long moment, he doesn't move. Then, with a sigh that seems to carry the weight of worlds, he crosses the room and carefully stretches out beside me on the narrow bed. He remains above the blankets, rigid and tense as he stares at the ceiling.
"I won't break if you touch me, you know," I say, the words little more than a breath between us. "You certainly didn't worry about that the other night in the showers."
His eyes find mine in the darkness, a flicker of heat passing through them at the memory. "That was different."
"How so?" I challenge softly.
"It just... was," he says, but his arm slides beneath my shoulders all the same, drawing me against his side. I rest my head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart.
"Tonight could be our last chance for a repeat," I murmur, my fingers tracing idle patterns on his chest.
I feel his temptation like a slumbering beast trying to roar to life. Somehow, he manages to control it before he speaks. "I'm not going to be the reason you didn't get rest tonight, Nessa. Sleep."
I smile up at him, mischief playing across my face. "And if I sleep well, will you reward me in the morning?"
The slumbering beast of his desire flares bright. Raith's grip tightens on my bare shoulder. "Only one way to find out."
I can feel the careful restraint in his touch, the way he's holding himself back. With the warmth of his body seeping into mine and the comforting weight of his arm around me, sleep claims me more quickly than I expected, pulling me down into darkness.