Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 58962 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 295(@200wpm)___ 236(@250wpm)___ 197(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58962 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 295(@200wpm)___ 236(@250wpm)___ 197(@300wpm)
“Oh.”
He’d killed in the heat of the moment to save a woman. That was…heroic. Like he’d been with me.
Who knew what else I didn’t know about him. Clearly, he had a history of violence. I had to walk away before I got any deeper. Before I got to another state, and I lost myself. It was a fling, nothing more. I lost track for a moment… that, that’s all it was. Two days. I knew him for two days.
Roy remained on the sidewalk, like he understood that coming closer would feel like a threat. “I would never hurt you, sugar.” His voice had gone softer, but his gaze was intense. “I’m wired to protect. I do know the difference between right and wrong.”
I believed him, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to change my mind. I vowed to myself–and told Casey to even remind me–that I would stay smart when it came to relationships.
“I-I can’t do this,” I said. “I was being rash. I rushed into things with you, and it was a mistake.”
Roy winced, hurt clearly scrawled across his handsome face. “A mistake?” he echoed.
I gave a tiny nod.
“I know we’re not a mistake. I think you know it, too.” He touched a place on his shoulder indicating where he marked me. Reminding me of what we’d shared.
It only made me realize how dick dazzled I’d been. I let him mark me after such a short time. And marked? I got bitten by a shifter. Taking two seconds to think about it, it was insane! It just brought home how different our worlds were. I couldn’t jump into a life with him.
God, I almost forgot everything.
“It doesn’t matter,” I whispered. “It’s not enough.”
After a minute, he simply nodded. “If you need some space right now, I understand.” He took a couple of steps back.
My breath was strangled in my throat. I shouldn’t feel more afraid about him leaving, but for some reason, the anxiety ratchetted higher.
I forced some words over my frozen lips. “Yeah, I need space.” I shook my head. “I mean, I need more than space. You should go back to Montana. I don’t want this.”
There. I’d sent him home. I should feel better now.
This pain in my chest should be lessening.
Except it wasn’t.
Even if what he said was true, and he was perfectly safe for me, I was not going to be like my mom, who didn’t properly vet any of the men she moved in with and then married. I’d known him for two days, and for most of it, I’d had drug dealers trying to kill me. I hadn’t been thinking rationally.
Now I was. I wasn’t going to put myself in a situation where I depended on a man and had to try to make a bad thing work for my survival. I had a safe career. A sturdy job. Sure, it might be a little boring–besides the whole money laundering thing–but it was one I could count on. I’d never be like Mom scraping by because she had no job skills or career.
Me moving to Montana would be crazy. Even if I trusted Roy completely, it was insane to become completely dependent on a man. Besides my job, I had a life here.
It was a bad idea.
Epically bad idea. I knew exactly how that played out with my mother. Like my mom following a guy to Florida she’d only known for a few days.
Thank God Casey had shown up to talk some sense into me.
Still, I couldn't breathe. It felt like I was having a panic attack. The pain on Roy’s face registered like an icepick screwing into my chest.
I forced my wobbling head to nod. “You should go.”
“But–”
“Please, Roy.”
He stared at me, misery marking every feature on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something then changed his mind. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Okay.”
The tears poured from my eyes, hot and salty. I pressed my lips together, turned around and ran into the house.
Oh God, why was I so upset? I should be glad I dodged a bullet. Real ones on Friday and yesterday. And one big lumberjack sized one today.
It felt like I’d left my heart out there on the sidewalk–a barely beating, bloody mess.
31
ROY
* * *
My wolf wanted to howl, but the rest of me was numb as fuck.
Dead.
A hollowed-out shell.
My mate didn’t want me.
No, that wasn’t true. She did. I knew she did because those tears she’d cried were over losing me. If she hadn't been destroyed by this, she wouldn’t have been so upset.
No, she was scared. She panicked and made the choice that felt safest to her in the moment. It was a survival instinct, borne out of her tumultuous childhood. She was afraid of reenacting her mother’s mistakes. That was obvious.