Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 101524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 508(@200wpm)___ 406(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 508(@200wpm)___ 406(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
“Can we not talk about this?” I mutter, knowing he’s not going to get it.
“Why were you talking about it?” he counters taking a seat on the end of moms lounger resting his tattooed hand on her thigh.
“Because Mom was asking about the guy Nalia has plans with this evening, and she thought she was still dating Cole.”
“You have a date tonight?” Dad frowns at me while I calculate how difficult it might be for me to get my sister over to the pool so I can shove her into the water and hold her under for a minute, maybe two. Just long enough for her to pass out.
“I’m going downtown with a friend to watch his friend perform at one of the bars.”
“So, a date,” Dad mutters, looking less than pleased.
And this is the problem with being the baby of the family. Despite the fact that Sage and I are the exact same age, we have never been treated the same by our dad. In his mind, because Sage is a guy, he’s somehow more mature (even though he’s not) and more capable of survival (and again, he’s not). It’s the same reason Sage was able to date before I could and why he was allowed more freedom to come and go growing up. The double standard has always been annoying, but it’s even more annoying now that I have proven that I’m capable of surviving on my own despite the fact that I’m a ‘helpless little woman.’
“Who is going to watch Zuri while you are out?” Mom asks, and I instantly feel a sense of dread wash over me.
“She’s staying with Logan’s mom.”
“You could have asked us to keep an eye on her.”
“I know, and I know that she would love that, it’s just that Zuri’s friends with Cooper, Logan’s son, so I figured that she would have fun hanging out with him at their house while we are out.”
“Do you know this woman?” That question coming from my dad in the tone he uses when he disapproves of something makes my spine stiffen.
“Do you think I would leave Zuri with someone I didn’t know?” I return, trying and failing to keep the hurt out of my voice. “I know I haven’t been doing this whole parenting thing very long, but I have gotten the basics down.”
“I...”
“Namalama, can I have a sandwich, please?” Zuri asks, cutting Dad off and oblivious to the conversation the adults are having.
“Me too,” Nash yells after her.
“Do you mind if I make them something to eat?” I ask Mom while I get up off my lounger, grabbing my cover-up from the back of my chair.
“Of course, you know you don’t even have to ask,” she says quietly.
“Thanks,” I tell her, then turn to Kim, who has started to get up. “I got this, stay and relax.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.” I slip my cover-up over my bikini and walk across the hot concrete to the house. When I get inside, I go right to the kitchen and start pulling out the stuff for sandwiches from the fridge. Hearing the back door open, I brace, unsure who followed me inside, then tense when I see it’s my dad.
“I’m sorry.” He holds up his hands as he walks towards me. “I honestly didn’t mean anything by what I said.”
“It’s fine,” I mumble taking out enough bread from the bag to make sandwiches for all the kids since I know the moment Harmony’s girls see Nash and Zuri eating, they are going to want something to eat too.
“It’s not,” he says softly, coming to stand next to me, picking up the cheese off the counter, and placing slices on the bread I’m laying out. “I overstepped.”
“I just want you to trust me.”
“I trust you, it’s the rest of the world I don’t trust,” he says softly, and my throat tightens. “Don’t ever doubt that I think you’re doing a fucking amazing job taking care of Zuri.”
“I know, it’s just difficult not to take things personally when I’m trying so hard to do the right thing and always worried that I’m failing in one way or another.”
“Jesus, Nalia, you are not failing. And trust me, sweetheart, none of us know what the hell we’re doing when it comes to parenting, and if anyone claims that they do they’re lying ‘cause all of us are just out here winging it and hoping for the best.”
“You’re an amazing dad and mom is awesome.” I drop my eyes from his when my nose starts to sting. “You two are the best parents, and I’m lucky to have you both.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t failed, fucked up, or fallen short. But that’s life, kid, and I might be older than you, but there was a time I was your age, raising kids Zuri’s age and trying to figure shit out just like you are right now.” I hadn’t thought of that. It’s hard to remember that my parents were young once, and it’s also difficult to imagine them messing up because they have always seemed to have it together. “Your mom and I love you more than anything in this whole fucking world.”