Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 77850 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77850 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
“Tell me about her,” I say, and she pauses but doesn’t look at me.
“Who?”
“My mother. Tell me about her.”
“You’ve never asked before. Not once.”
“How would you remember?” I say to her, and I’m aware that it’s rude. But it’s also the truth; she was always drunk.
“I remember you sneaking out, sneaking boys in. I remember. Even if I drank to numb the pain, I remember Lilith.” She pats the dirt and lifts her watering can, tipping it over the soil. “Your mother was my friend first, not his. I sometimes wish I had never introduced them. Would her life have turned out the same? You know, these are the things one thinks when someone dies.”
“You blame yourself?”
“I blame myself for a lot of things, but the death of your mother is not one of them.” She reaches for a glass of tea next to her and drinks it. “She was very excited to have you, even if she was young. We were all young and working things out as we went.” Her lower lip goes between her teeth as her brows pinch together. “I don’t remember in great detail how she died… That would be a question you need to ask your father.”
“He doesn’t talk much about her.”
“No, he never really did after. That’s when he kind of lost it.”
“Lost it?” I ask.
“Yes. He became more callous and more deeply involved in that Society of his.” My brows shoot up. “Oh, yes, I know it all.” She shakes her head. “That Society is wrong and bad in so many ways. Rich men are an awful thing, especially when they pool together and have that much power at their fingertips.”
“I think I’m a little bad,” I whisper.
“We all are, in some ways. At least you admit it. Others hide it.” She stands, goes to an area scattered with pots, and gets a new plant before she returns and sits beside me.
“You had her hair. Your eyes are like your father’s, but your hair was like hers. Your attitude was all your father, too. It’s why I knew when to leave you alone. I knew back then to leave him alone, too. Where your father was mean, your mother was soft. They balanced each other out, you know.”
“What happens when you love someone who is the same fucked-up as you?” I ask quietly.
She lays her hand on my leg and squeezes. “Disaster.” Her answer shakes me.
She goes back to planting as we sit in silence.
“Will you tell me about Tuck?” Her hands freeze, and I see a slight shake take over them. “You don’t have to.”
She glances at me, unshed tears in her eyes as her bottom lip trembles. “It’s good to talk about those you love, dead or alive.” She lifts her gloved hands and wipes her eyes. “Do you think you love him?” she asks.
“Who?”
“The man you’re running from.”
Her attempt to change the topic gives me pause.
“Are you avoiding my question?” I fire back.
“Yes, I guess I am.” She shrugs. “Death is easy for some. And others find it more difficult to come to terms with. I used to drown myself in the bottom of a bottle so I didn’t hate my brother.” Her eyes meet mine. “I loved Tuck, and your father took him from me.”
“Why did you forgive him?”
“Because he is my only family and the only man who has always been there for me. Plus, he gave me something I could never have… you.”
“You couldn’t have kids?” How did I not know this? Probably because I never asked.
“No, I had cancer when I was in my early twenties, just starting out and working out what I wanted from life. Did I want kids? I don’t even know. But that choice was taken away from me. And Keenan was there for me and your mother. It’s why, even if he killed the love of my life, I still forgave him.”
“You didn’t have to. You can hate my father.”
“It’s a little late for that. I’ve wrestled my demons long enough. I’m at peace now,” she says and wipes her hands on her clothes. “Do you want kids, Lilith?”
“No,” I reply with no hesitation.
“When you were younger, you weren’t a fan of kids either.” She shrugs. “I want you to know there is nothing wrong with that… It’s better that you know. Some people in this world should not have kids. And if you feel like you are one of them, that’s okay too.”
I reach for her glass and take a sip of her tea.
“Will you tell me about him?” she asks.
“Who?”
“The man you like.”
“I’m divorced,” I remind her.
She eyes me and raises a brow. “You know that’s not who I’m talking about.”
“If you tell me what you know about the Hunt, I’ll tell you about Reon,” I say.
“It’s barbaric.” She seethes, shaking her head. “Why would you want to know about that? You know they don’t accept women into their little Society, right? It’s below them.” She says it with venom lacing her tone.