Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 102708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
Giving into the rage, I spewed, “There are days that hurt so bad that you weren’t here that it felt like I was dying… I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. Hanging on by a thread, trying to take care of my little brother, who wasn’t much younger than I was. I had to feed him, clothe him, provide for him… for fuck’s sake, Melody. I was twelve years old. I was a kid. A child raising a child. Your son!”
Her lips trembled.
“I had to drop out of school to pay the bills. You have no idea what I’ve had to do to pay the mortgage, put food on the table, and make sure CPS stayed off our asses, so Kraven and I wouldn’t be split up because I couldn’t lose him, too.”
Her eyes brimmed with tears as she relived what I was sharing.
“I had no life outside of making sure we keep a roof over our heads until Isla came along, and all you’ve done is make us argue since you decided to show back up and play mother of the year.”
“I… I… I…”
“You what? Huh? You want to apologize again? You want to beg me for forgiveness this time on your hands and knees? What is it that you want from us that you haven’t already stolen? We’re nothing more than the toys you leave behind in the backyard. You play with us when you want and then throw us away just as easily.”
“Julius, I love—”
“Don’t you fucking dare!”
She wept, pissing me off further.
In one roar, I snapped, “I’m not your son anymore, Melody. I never was. I don’t have love for you. Do you understand me? Are you hearing me? Because I don’t fucking love you! You mean nothing to me! Nothing! In fact…” I leaned forward, close to her face. With no hesitation, I added, “I fucking hate you.”
She cried with a low sob. The consequences she’d have to pay. It was all there, right there in front of her.
Me.
Lost in my own thoughts, in my own conviction, I fumed, “This is my life, Melody. There’s no turning back for me. You stole my childhood. Seven. Fucking. Years.”
Tears rolled down the sides of her face, and I counted each one.
“For years, I made excuses for you, and I just couldn’t do it anymore,” I scoffed out, pausing to let my words sink in. “You will always be nothing but a drunk, an addict, a sorry-ass excuse for a mother. We deserved better than you and so did Isla.”
Her chest rising and falling, contemplating what to say. I could see her mind spinning out of control. Opening her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
I couldn’t shield her anymore.
Not from demons.
Her truths.
Her future with us.
The failure she was.
“Julius, I…” she whispered, crying deeply. “My only job was to protect you, but I failed you both.”
“Enough with the sob story! You didn’t even try!”
I heard the front door open. In seconds, Kraven walked into the kitchen with Isla behind him.
“What the hell is going on?” he asked, looking back and forth between us.
You could feel the tension in the air. It was heavy, thick, suffocating.
“What is she doing here?”
“Kraven, I—” She saw Isla standing against the frame, her arms folded over her chest.
She looked like she’d been crying all night, making me feel worse for leaving. I couldn’t see her cry again.
Not for Melody.
“I’m so sorry, Isla,” she expressed, trying to walk over to her. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Enough!” I ordered, grabbing her arm and holding her in place.
She wasn’t going to get anywhere near Isla.
Not now and not ever again.
CHAPTER
FORTY-THREE
JULIUS
“You stay away from her!”
“Julius—”
“Isla,” I interrupted. “Stay out of it! I’m done listening to you when it comes to her. This ends now!” I turned my madness back to the woman who deserved it. Unable to bite my tongue, I lost all sense of reason, invading her personal space.
“If you come back here, Melody… if you make any contact with Kraven or me or Isla, I swear to God, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure it’s the last time you’re near any of us.”
“Julius, please, just let me explain. I promise—”
“Your promises mean nothing! You mean nothing! You’re a worthless piece of shit. Actually, shit is better than you because at least you know what you’re getting with it. You’re a snake in the grass, and the only reason you’re back right now is to clear your conscience, but the second you hurt Isla, you crossed the line I never gave you. I don’t want you here. I never did. I did it for her.” I pointed at Isla.
“That’s all, it’s as simple as that. I don’t want you. I don’t need you. I fucking hate you! I hate you for all the drugs, all the police rides, all the foster homes, the drug dealers, the strangers you left us with, our dog you sold for your next fix, all the men you fucked behind Joe’s back as revenge. And I especially hate you for every second you’re making me stand here and say this to you to make you understand why I can’t see you, be near you, or have you in my life. You cause destruction everywhere you go, and I refuse to let you take us down with you again, not when we’ve made it this far already without one second of your help.”