Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 121210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
Sheila’s smile is brittle. “That’s what I’ve been telling him, but he’s having a little bit of an existential crisis over it. Says he wants to try doing something else entirely.”
“A whole new career path?” I question, and she nods.
“I don’t know exactly what his plan is, but I’m hoping he comes up with something soon.” Her mouth forms a grimace. “Money’s bound to get tight, if you know what I mean.”
Instantly, an idea pops into my head. “You know, why don’t you tell him to come down to the bar and talk to me? I’m slammed most nights, and being the only one making drinks is getting a little overwhelming.”
“Are you serious?” Sheila asks, and for the first time since I stepped into this line, the stress lines around her eyes have lifted.
“Of course I am, Sheil. I mean, I don’t know if he’d be interested in bartending, but maybe I could take him on at least part time if it sounds like something Marty would want to do.”
“Oh my God, Clay!” she cries, jumping up to hug me. “That would be amazing.”
I feel a little high off Sheila’s joy, thrilled that I could be a bright spot in her down-and-out day. I hug her right back, but when I look over her shoulder, Josie is staring at me, hard. We lock eyes, and my mood instantly shifts from happy to bone-deep fucking sad.
And every single part of my plan when I first came in here, when I first stepped into her coffee shop line, goes right out the window.
I don’t know how to be here. I don’t know how to be anywhere.
Truth is, I don’t know how to be without Josie at all.
10
Josie
Tuesday, April 11th
Clay steps back from Sheila, his jaw turning rigid as I’m unable to tear my eyes away from him. He’s a kind human with a big heart and an even bigger personality, and while I don’t know exactly what led to Sheila Higgins hugging him so tightly, I’m not surprised to see it either.
He’s always been generous with the people of Red Bridge, even more so after becoming a city councilman, and community outreach is an important part of his persona.
I didn’t think in my wildest dreams, though, that he’d take his sense of duty this far. Seeing him, like this, standing in line in my brand-new business to patronize it on its maiden voyage just under four months after I forced him out of my life…it’s got me feeling some kind of way.
Ooey, gooey, dangerous feelings. Ones that are a stark reminder of the four-letter-word I still hold in my heart for him.
And in an attempt to smother each and every vestige of the notion, I lock my heart in the attic of my chest and throw away the key, hardening my every emotion with ice until I’m cold all the way through. I don’t need Elsa to work her magic—I’m already an ice queen.
Sheila turns around as she realizes that Felix is done and gone, and she runs up to the counter, a huge smile on her face and tears of gratitude in her eyes. It’s all I can do not to ask her why—not to invite more conversation that I know will make me melt—and my whole body shakes as I take her order for one of my specialty coffees made with brown sugar and cinnamon and try to carry on like I’m not dying inside.
My body is on autopilot, calling the order to Todd and writing Sheila’s name on the cup before taking her cash, the heavy heat of Clay’s eyes burning right through me the whole time. I know I’m currently making small talk with her and thanking her for stopping by, but truthfully, I wouldn’t be able to recall what I’m even saying if Sheriff Peeler had to interrogate me about it.
I take a deep breath and steel myself against the sting of tears in my nose, licking my lips and smoothing my apron down my body with almost untenable anxiety when I turn away to grab her drink from Todd.
And I have to swallow hard as I hand it over the counter with a smile that feels as if it could crack like an eggshell. “Thanks again for stopping by, Sheila.”
“Of course! Congratulations, Josie!” she exclaims before turning on her heel to leave me out in the open to my next customer. I feel like I’m living a real-life nightmare, the one where you’re naked in public and everyone is staring at you. But my heart is the only thing that’s bared, and Clay’s eyes might as well be the optical version of a hawk.
Just breathe, Josie. Just breathe.
His face is a mask of unknowns as he steps up to the counter, and I discreetly inhale much-needed oxygen, even though the room feels like someone has sucked out all of the air.