Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 121210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 606(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
“What?” My sigh is deep and exasperated, leaving my lips on such a hard whoosh of air that it blows strands of hair away from my face. “Handing me the stick with your pee on it four days ago wasn’t enough for you?”
Norah slaps her hands to her thighs and stomps her foot on the hardwood floor of my bedroom. “I need official confirmation. I need a reason to get up the courage to tell Bennett. I need…this. Can you just get out of bed…please?”
I shake my head at her dramatics, but I also smile at my crazy, pregnant, over-the-top theatrical sister. “Okay. But seriously, I’m not looking forward to the harebrained ideas you’re going to come up with while you’re hormonal.”
“That’s sweet, Josie,” she says and rolls her eyes again. “But how about you move your ass, okay?”
“Fine.” I huff out a sigh and climb out of bed. “Give me ten minutes.”
“Two minutes!” she calls over her shoulder as she walks out of my bedroom. “And I’ll be in the car timing you!”
…
The last time I was at Burlington Medical Center was almost five years ago for a follow-up appointment after my miscarriage.
That appointment…changed everything.
The bright lights of the exam room pierce my eyes, and my anxious stomach churns from my spot on the black plastic chair in the corner. Norah sits on the crinkly paper of the medical table, worrying her fingers together as we wait for the doctor.
I fight like hell, clawing at the proverbial cliff as my delicate psyche dangles above the painful memory of rock bottom.
A room just like this and news that would change the course of my life forever. News that made me change the course of my life forever.
I’ve spent so much time compartmentalizing it all, but it buzzes just beneath the surface now. I’m still the only one who knows about that little baby’s existence, and a day doesn’t go by without me thinking about him or her.
Technically, I never was far enough along in my pregnancy to know if it was a boy or girl, but I always felt like it was a boy. A little boy with Clay’s brown eyes and my blond hair.
God, Josie. Stop thinking about it.
I pull my phone out of my purse and pretend to scroll through social media, but I don’t actually see any of it.
I feel like a shit sister for being face first in my device while Norah sits nervously on the exam table, but my emotions are hanging on by a thread. A very thin thread, at that.
When Dr. Vesper walks into the room, I’m instantly thankful for the distraction, and I sit up straighter in my seat, setting my phone back in my purse.
“Hi, Dr. Vesper,” Norah greets her. “Thanks for agreeing to this.”
Dr. Vesper’s smile is warm and confident as she walks over to my sister. She’s a short woman with thick muscles and a wise disposition. Most importantly, though, she’s not the doctor I saw all those years ago, thank God. “Yes, well. I’m used to desperate moms-to-be on the phone, but I have to admit your desperation sounded a little different.”
Norah cringes, and I bite my lip to fight my laughter. I can only imagine the earful her receptionist got when my sister tried to schedule this appointment. I mean, she woke me up this morning by shaking the shit out of me with two hands that felt stronger than the Hulk. No telling what threats she used against Dr. Vesper’s receptionist to get this visit.
“All right, so we ran the urine sample you gave us, and you are definitely pregnant, my dear,” Dr. Vesper updates. “HCG levels look good, but since you’re only six weeks or so, we’re going to hold off on the ultrasound. I don’t like to do them until at least eight weeks. That way, we can feel confident we’re going to hear a heartbeat.”
Norah is pregnant. I’m going to be an aunt.
That thin thread inside my body starts to fray even more, but I swallow hard against the onslaught, even covering my mouth with my hand to keep control. Now isn’t the time for anything but calm and stoic and supportive. I’m so fucking happy; I am so fucking triggered.
My temples pulse with the effort to fight off the tsunami of ensuing emotion. I’ve had this news delivered to me before. I’ve had it ripped away. God, please don’t let that happen to Norah.
“So, today, all we’re really looking to do is get some information about family medical history, for both you and the father,” Dr. Vesper announces. “I’ll need you to fill out some paperwork, we’ll get you started on prenatals, and then we’ll get another appointment set up for you in a couple of weeks.”
I catch the uncertain look on Norah’s face as Dr. Vesper waits expectantly, and I know straightaway what her mind has fixated on—family history. Her throat bobs in a desperate spiral into panic.