Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 76448 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76448 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
She remembered the crowded rooms and the touching. Lacey hated being touched. The only person she’d ever accepted touch from had been Dalton. Whizz was the one man she wanted his touch, craved his touch more than anything else.
“I didn’t drink. I couldn’t bring myself to drink as I hated the loss of control. I needed control. It was the one saving grace in my life. Drugs were out of the question. In the hospital I lived on the drugs even when I didn’t want them. The last thing I wanted to do was take them again. The world was groggy, but I was still alive.”
“So you worked out?”
“Yeah, working out helped me to focus my mind. I was no longer thinking about Alan but the club. I worked out. I got tired, and I was able to sleep. I got stronger. The stronger I got, the more chance I had of helping in the future.”
“You were strong in the first place, Whizz.” She knew he couldn’t have not been strong to get into The Skulls.
“I wasn’t strong enough to stop being taken.”
“You couldn’t have changed that. No one could.”
“Still, I made a change, and no fucker is going to get the better of me.”
Lacey nodded. She didn’t want to let him believe otherwise. It didn’t matter how strong he was. When it came to the drugs, he couldn’t fight their effects.
“What about the nightmares?”
“They never disappeared. Some nights I was able to work myself into falling asleep and sleeping so deeply that I didn’t dream. Other nights I wasn’t able to.”
“What happened?” she asked.
“I ended up sleeping with some of the couples within the club.” He started laughing. “God, I was a fucking mess. They’d allow me into their bed just to help me sleep.”
“Why are you smiling?” She found herself smiling along with him.
“Since you’ve been in my life the nightmares are few and far between. The past couple of nights, I’ve not dreamt about anything but you.”
She stared at their joined hands.
“You make me forget what happened. Do you still have nightmares?”
Lacey shook her head. “Not anymore. They stopped when I was around twenty-five, twenty-six. I don’t know what happened or why they stopped. I guess I kind of just grew out of it or got over it.” She shrugged. “It’s still new and raw for you. I’ve had the time to move on. You’re still fighting.”
“The nightmares are the worst.”
She shook her head. “They’re not the worst. You can always wake up from a dream. Living, that’s the worst. When you’re living and you’re gripped by fear it stops you from living, from connecting with other people.” She tucked some hair behind her ear. “You’re asleep for five to seven hours a day. The rest you’re spent awake, aware of everything around you. For me, that was the worst. I stared at everyone wondering what they were thinking, planning. You can’t get away from that kind of fear. At night, I was alone, and I could handle the dreams. I’d get a glass of water, sit and remember those men were not in my life. Sometime, Dalton would be there, and we’d talk. During the day, everyone was awake. You can never get away from the living.”
“I never saw it like that.”
“You had a family of your own who loved and cared about you.”
“So did you.”
Lacey shook her head. “They were not my real family. Until Gonzalez took out our parents I didn’t spend a lot of time at the club. Dalton wasn’t my friend. I don’t even think he liked me. We were thrust together like a bunch of orphans. We made do with each other.” That’s where they were different. Whizz had his family in The Skulls. She’d had to make do with the Savage Brothers. “It’s why I wanted to help Butch. I was with the club because I felt a duty to see it through. The revenge. Butch, he was part of the club, but he grew up and away from it all. Butch had some illogical need to help his past. In the end, he tried to stop us, though. He did give us the wrong information. I truly believe he was going to tell you the truth.”
“I’m working on getting Butch back within the club. I can’t guarantee that he’ll get the same kind of position he held, but he might still get his cut.”
“I’d really like to help with that. I would hate to think that I and the rest of the Savage Brothers took away his family.” She finished her breakfast. “I heard him arguing with Danny and Dalton, telling them revenge was pointless. I wished they’d listened to him.”
Butch had waited too long to get shit done with the club. He should have come to them when the Savage Brothers made their presence known. Lacey wished she’d talked to him away from Danny and Dalton. She might have been able to talk some sense to him. Lacey had seen Danny shoot him without any remorse. Whoever Danny’s contact had been in town had given him the true location of Gonzalez. She didn’t know who it was. Whizz took some notes out of his wallet and placed them on the counter. Together they made their way out toward his bike. She liked being beside him, facing the world together as a team.