Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 84868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
“Oh wow. Is he still a farrier?”
I nodded. “He is, but he’s been slowing down. Both Colt and Grady had been taught by their dad, too, and they were both going to take over the business one day. Although that wasn’t what Grady wanted. He always talked about wanting to travel the world and see things. He wanted to be a pilot. He’d taken flying lessons and loved it. I’m not sure if anyone else knew that was his ultimate goal. He might have told Colt, I’m not sure. I think he was scared to tell his father. They didn’t even know he knew how to fly a plane.”
“That’s sad he didn’t share that with anyone else.”
I nodded as my chest held that familiar ache. “Anyway, turns out neither of them stayed to help their father. The day after Grady’s celebration of life, Colt left River Falls. He was supposed to meet me the next morning, and we were going to spend the day together. He never showed up. I was so worried because he wasn’t answering his phone or replying to text messages. I don’t even have to tell you where my mind went. I panicked, went to his parents’ house to look for him, and found Lynn crying on the front porch. I nearly fell to my knees as one terrible thought after another ran through my mind.”
Lilibeth put a hand to her mouth.
“He’d packed up his things and left in the middle of the night. Left a note for his mother and father, telling them he couldn’t be in River Falls another minute. The guilt over his brother’s death was too much to bear. So he left.”
“He didn’t even tell you? Say goodbye?”
I shook my head. “I think I knew it was coming, though. The way he’d hugged me and told me he loved me the day before had been…off. I think even then, I knew he wasn’t going to meet me the next morning. But for him to leave without so much as a goodbye, I can’t even begin to tell you how hurt I was.”
“Did he leave you a note?”
Nodding, I softly said, “He did. It said that he was sorry, and for me to never forget the promise I made to him.”
“Promise?”
“That I would remember he’d never stop loving me.”
Lilibeth wore a pained expression. “Have you heard from him at all?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. He often writes to and calls his parents. I asked about him constantly in the early days, and Lynn would tell me what he was doing and where he was. For a few years, he traveled around the world, and I think he did so because that was what Grady hoped to do. It was so painful to hear from Lynn that he was in Italy or Scotland. So…I stopped asking, and they stopped talking about him in front of me. It kind of became this unspoken rule between the three of us. I never mention him anymore, and neither do they.”
“He’s never been back to River Falls?”
“Nope. Not that I know of, at any rate. I try to visit Lynn and Jacob every couple of weeks. I adore them, and they’re like second parents to me, but they know their son hurt me deeply. I don’t know where he is now. or if he’s married or even has kids. And I actually don’t want to know.”
Lilibeth wore that look of pity on her face that I couldn’t stand. The same look everyone else gave me for the longest time after Colt left.
“I hate that he did that to you.”
I laughed softly. “So do I. And I hate him with every ounce of my being. I’d lost my very best friend only days before I lost the love of my life.”
Lilibeth ran her hand softly down Nellie’s back. She looked up at me and asked, “Is that why you haven’t dated seriously?”
“No,” I replied, blinking back more tears. “Maybe. Hell, let me be honest with you and myself. Yes—Colt is the reason I haven’t dated anyone seriously. Because I haven’t met anyone I don’t constantly compare to him. I thought maybe I’d met someone a couple of years ago who could finally make me forget about Colt. He’s a firefighter here in River Falls. We dated for a few months, and he wanted more…but I got spooked. I know I gave Caden hell for not moving on from Rachel, when here I am stuck in the past myself. I can’t seem to let him go. Or my heart can’t, at any rate.”
“This firefighter…could you not see yourself with him?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I could. That was what scared me. It was the first time since Colt left that I could see a possible future with another man. I don’t know how to explain it, but it felt like I was cheating on him. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking, what if he comes home and I’m dating someone?” A humorless laugh slipped free before I said, “It’s so stupid, and I know this doesn’t sound like me at all. I wish my heart could forget him, Lilibeth. I really do. He couldn’t possibly have loved me as much as I loved him. If he did, how could he have left me like that? All I have left besides a broken heart is just a stupid note telling me not to forget.”