Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 84868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
After wiping his tears away and telling him I loved him, I sat down in the chair next to him, both of us just staring at one another.
“It’s a beautiful evening. Why don’t the two of you go sit on the front porch? You light the heaters, Colt. We’ll clean up and join you both in a few with some hot chocolate.”
I looked at my mother and smiled. “Are you sure?”
She stood, as did my father. “I’m positive. We’ve got this.”
Taking Colt’s hand in mine, I urged him to get up. He did, and started to grab his plate when my father said, “Leave it, Colt.”
I laced my fingers with his and tried to ignore the way his touch heated my entire body. No man had ever made me feel the way Colt Owens did. I doubted anyone else ever would, and I vowed I’d no longer try to find out.
We walked through the house to the front door. I grabbed a blanket and tucked it under my arm before heading out onto the porch and over to the swing, while Colt lit the heater. The number of times Colt and I had sat on this swing was more than I could count. Then, once I’d moved into my little cabin—where I still lived now—we’d sit on my own front porch and watch the sunset. It was my favorite time of day.
Once we sat, Colt stared at the pink and orange clouds that hung low over the western horizon. He’d absentmindedly started to push the swing with his legs as I tucked mine under me, before draping the blanket over us. I could already feel the warmth from the heater moving around us.
“I knew about six days after I left that I’d fucked up in a major way. That it was a mistake that could cost me everything…and I was right.”
I turned and looked at him as he kept his gaze on the sky.
“I picked up my phone to call you so many times, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’d absolutely convinced myself I was the reason Grady took his life. Whether it had to do with you or with my father’s constant comparisons between us, I knew it was because of me. I truly don’t think my father meant any harm; he simply couldn’t comprehend why Grady wouldn’t want a life here in River Falls. The life my dad had always wanted. The same one I wanted. I should have spoken up more for him.” He glanced at me. “I did try to talk to my father about Grady.”
I took his hand in mine. “I know you did, Colt.”
Looking back out over the landscape, he went on. “I love my father, but he couldn’t see past his own dreams for his sons. There was a time after I left when I was so angry with him. I mean, I was pissed off that he’d compared Grady to me, and I wanted to blame him for Grady’s death. Anything to take the guilt off my own back.”
I closed my eyes to keep the tears at bay. When I felt my self-control come back to me, I softly said, “Your father did blame himself for Grady’s death. I think because of that conversation you overheard. Actually…I don’t think. I know. Because he told me once.”
Colt’s head snapped around to look at me. “What?”
I nodded. “One of his clients called me and asked if I’d heard from him. He was supposed to have shown up that morning to shoe a few of his horses. I offered to do it, figuring Jacob was dealing with his grief. Afterward, I headed to your place and found him in the barn, on the floor of his office. He must have been drinking straight through the night. I managed to help him get up and get to the house. Your mother was out that morning, so I put him on the sofa and made him some coffee. When I brought him a cup, his head was back on the cushions. I thought he’d fallen asleep.”
I drew in a breath and went on. “He wasn’t asleep; he was crying. Sobbing, actually. He told me it was his fault that Grady took his life. He told me he’d had a heart-to-heart with him and he might have gone too far. He didn’t tell me anything else, just that the talk was shortly before…”
My voice trailed off as I waited once again to get control of my emotions. Colt was still watching me intently.
“He said he didn’t tell your mother about the conversation, and that he couldn’t because she’d blame him. I told him that I didn’t think that would ever happen, but he still insisted it was his fault. He also mentioned you that morning.”
“What did he say?” Colt asked, looking at me with worry in his eyes.