Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 94119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
“Y’all are still coming next weekend, right?” I asked.
Mom finally let in a smile and said, “Yes.” My sisters were whisper-fighting in the background. Mom shook her head at them and said loudly, “And we are absolutely not surprising you with homemade cards!”
“Or homemade chocolate chip cookies!” Lucy shouted, and I couldn’t hold back the burst of laughter that spilled out of me as Emily scolded her.
“Lucy! You just told him again!”
“Oops!” Lucy said, then I heard them running away and caught the familiar sound of the back door being opened and closed. They’d be running to their tree house. I could see it all so clearly in my head, and the homesickness swept in thick and fast.
Mom moved to sit on our well-worn couch and said, “Now tell me how you’re really feeling.”
I settled back in my bed and realized I still had the cold cloth on my forehead. I pulled it away and placed it on my bedside table. “It’s rough,” I said. I wanted to protect her, but I also needed to be honest with someone. “This new chemo and the new drug therapy they’ve got us on…” I shook my head. “But if it works—”
“When,” my mom said.
I smirked at her tenacity. “When it works, it’ll have all been worth it.”
Mom was quiet for a few moments, just staring at me. “And how are you, in yourself?” Her eyes seemed to bore into my soul. “How are you coping with everything?”
I took a deep breath. “I’m okay. Just trying to keep positive.”
She stared at me a touch too long, clearly trying to see if I was lying.
“I promise, Mom. I’m doing okay emotionally at the moment. I swear I’ll tell you if I’m not.”
“Okay,” she said, finally satisfied. “I’m so proud of you, Jesse. I don’t think you’ll ever realize how much. You’ve been through so much. Too much.” Her bottom lip trembled.
“Mom,” I said, fighting back my own grief. “I can’t wait to see y’all.” My voice was breaking, but Mom didn’t mention it. She just let me show my emotion. Nothing good came from me bottling it up.
“I’m counting the days until our visit,” she said. “How are your friends? Chris and Emma?”
“The same, really. Haven’t seen them in a few days. The treatment is hitting us all pretty hard.” She nodded, then said, “And June?” There was a different inflection to her voice when she mentioned June.
I raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
Mom laughed. “Jesse, I know when my boy has met a pretty girl, and I can tell when he likes her as more than a friend.”
“Great place to pick up a girl, Mom. A hospital.”
“Love finds us in strange places, Jesse,” she said, a singsong note to her voice. “It can sweep in hard and fast.”
Her comment gave me permission to think of June. Hell, who was I kidding? I’d been thinking of her nonstop for the past several days. I’d heard murmured conversations through our shared wall and the sound of her throwing up as much as me. I desperately wanted to go next door and sit with her each afternoon when our chemo infusions were done. It gave me strength. I missed company, and it was her company that I was particularly craving.
And I really liked holding her hand.
But I hadn’t dared go and see her. I was ballsy by nature but would never intrude on someone when they were on the ropes.
“June is…” I shrugged, unable to find words. “I don’t know. Different, I guess?” I felt my lips curl into a smile. “She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.”
“I can’t wait to meet her, Jess,” Mom said. “She sounds lovely.” Then she changed the subject. “Me and the girls went to the game last night.” A pang of jealousy hit me. I gripped my football tighter to my side. “The announcer talked about you, and all your friends and teachers were asking how you were and wishing you the best. Coach most of all. The whole stadium prayed for you.”
“Yeah?” I asked.
Mom nodded. “Coach said he sent you the game film for you to watch.” I hadn’t checked my email yet, so I’d be sure to later. “They’re counting the days until you come home,” Mom said, full of hope, and it was the lift I needed. She lowered her voice, then added, “And the stand-in QB was no match for you.”
I chuckled. “You have to say that.”
“I do,” she said playfully, “but it doesn’t make it any less true.”
“I love you, Mom, so much.” The past several months, I always told her I loved her. If anything ever happened to me, I wanted her to always know that she was the best mom there could have been, that she had done all she could to save me. When my father left, she’d kept us all standing. I tried to support her as much as I could, but she never let me be anything other than a kid. And she held me up when my daddy’s absence crushed me.