Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 94119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Emma made herself comfortable beside me, but her eyes kept drifting back to the pictures. “How are they so lifelike?” she asked, and I paused the episode that had just started playing. “It’s so detailed, it could be a photograph.” Emma’s eyes narrowed. “Are we sure it’s not photoshopped?”
“Emma!” I said, tapping her hand in admonishment.
“What?” she said, playfully pushing me away. “It’s just we’ve been here awhile now, see each other every day, and I’ve never seen him draw.”
I shrugged. “He does it in private. He sketches most nights while I write.” Only a silence met me. When I looked up at Emma, her eyebrows were raised.
“Oh, we’re talking more about this,” she said. “At night? At night? When at night?” Heat rushed to my face as I realized what I’d said. “Oh, no,” Emma said. “Don’t go all bashful on me now, princess, not when you’re running around in the midnight hours with your beau.” Emma batted her eyes, teasing.
I hadn’t meant to say it, and I didn’t keep secrets from Emma. But…I didn’t know. I supposed my and Jesse’s time outside, when the world was asleep, seemed like our personal slice of time, when it was just him and I and the art that made our hearts sing.
“My beau?” I cackled at that.
“I’m waiting,” Emma said when I didn’t answer her actual question.
The truth was, I found myself now wanting to share this with Emma. If I was honest about why, it would be because sometimes, I couldn’t believe that it was true. Why was Jesse so drawn to me? I felt like he could have any girl he wanted. And as much as I tried to understand that it was me he was falling for, there was a barrier of insecurity that still made me doubt why.
“We sit outside every night,” I said, feeling Emma’s impatience. “The few times we haven’t is when one of us has been hit badly by the treatment.” I flicked my eyes to hers. “And even then, we sneak into the other’s room, so we can be there for the other.”
“June Mary Scott, I didn’t think you had it in you.”
I stilled and met Emma’s blue eyes. “My middle name isn’t Mary.”
Emma flapped a hand in front of her face. “That’s of no consequence. I’m only interested in you and Jesse.” Her head tilted to the side as she regarded me. “Anyone can see how close you are. So do you see it lasting beyond Harmony?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said. I knew it was true for both Jesse and me. It was pathetic how gone for that boy I was. “I can’t explain it,” I confessed to Emma. “I don’t know if it’s because of the position we’re all in being here, being terminal, but everything is amplified.”
“I get what you mean,” Emma said. “Like everything just feels more. The sun seems brighter now. The heat more intense. Your favorite smells are sweeter.”
“Yes,” I said. I stared at the sketch on my wall, the one of my face. Jesse actually saw me like that. When I looked in the mirror, that wasn’t the girl in the reflection. Jesse’s picture made me look…beautiful. I could barely believe that was how I looked to him: beautiful. I had never thought of myself that way, but his sketches showed me me through his eyes, and it was beautiful.
“Em?” I said, and Emma met my eyes. My gaze dropped and my heart raced at what I was about to ask. I hadn’t told anyone of my insecurities, but I loved Emma. She truly was the best friend I’d always dreamed of. And I knew she wouldn’t judge. “Do…do you think I’m…enough, for Jesse?”
Emma stared at me in silence a touch too long. I looked down at my hand. It still felt like it was mine. “June,” Emma said, pulling me from my stupor. “Please look at me.”
I did as she asked and felt my throat clog up. Emma’s face was serious. She looked fierce, when she said, “I mean what I’m about to say and you need to hear this: you are point-blank the best girlfriend I have ever had. You are sweet and kind and have the inner strength of an entire Roman legion.” Tears filled my eyes and Emma took hold of my hands. She gripped on tightly. “And you are stunning,” she said, emphatically. “Beautiful, utterly gorgeous, banging.”
I laughed through my tears as she listed those off.
Emma sobered and said, “I’ve seen how you look at yourself, babe. I know you didn’t swim that day before treatment because you don’t like how you look. But I am a brutally honest person—just ask Chris. And I am telling you, you’re a fucking ten.”
I laughed again, and Emma released one of my hands to wipe the tears from my cheek.