Total pages in book: 64
Estimated words: 63601 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 318(@200wpm)___ 254(@250wpm)___ 212(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63601 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 318(@200wpm)___ 254(@250wpm)___ 212(@300wpm)
Ha.
Daddy laughed again.
“You are in an interesting mood.” Daddy’s mouth was smiling again and he took my hand. “Not worried any longer?”
“Nope.” I was cookies and bubbles and happies…but no worries. “All done being big.”
Being big had worries but being little had bubbles.
And Oreos.
And Daddy.
Daddy kissed my head and we got in careful-careful. Sit slow. Bubbles go up, up, up. “You did very good at being big today, so I think this was a great idea.”
“I was lots big, Daddy.” Lots big meant lots cookies. “I was packing big and car big and family big.”
Ugh.
So, big.
“Well, next time we do the drive, how about we figure out a way to have little time too?” Daddy got thinky as he pushed around the bubbles and turned off the water. “Maybe we bring some toys in the car or we listen to special songs?”
Oh.
“Songs?” I liked songs. “What else? Cookies?”
“This tub gets deep really fast.” Daddy watched me careful as he wrapped me up in arms and bubbles so I didn’t float away like a boat. “I don’t know about promising cookies in the car.”
Messy cookies.
Kiss. Kiss.
“Now?” Ha. Daddy groaned. “Cookies in the car for a good boy.”
“When did I agree to that?” Daddy was so silly but I gave him more kisses and slippery snuggles. Slippery snuggles were the best. They made penises say hello. “Ah, that’s when.”
He was smart, so I gave him more kisses and a bubble hat.
“Hey.” Frowny Daddy was a silly Daddy. “You need to match.”
Bubble hat for me too.
“Now we match.” Daddy’s turn to give kisses. “You look so cute.”
“I like matching.” I liked wiggling too. “Look.”
I made Daddy lie down in the tub. It was so long he mostly fit and just had to spread his legs. Ha. Perfect. “See? Wiggly kisses. I’ll do it.”
Daddy got to relax and I wiggled.
“My turn.” I was Daddy and braced my arms and floated back and forth. Daddy relaxes and I do all the work. That was the plan. I was so smart. “You get to relax.”
“God, Chipmunk.” Daddy groaned as I rocked in the water. “This tub…”
“It’s big and I float.” The water went in really fast. “Oh, don’t put your penis in the water when it comes out, Daddy. It hurts.”
The water was fast. Daddy understood because he nodded and laughed, but more kisses and wiggles made Daddy moan.
Grown-up kisses made me giggle, but Daddy scrunched up his face and shivered.
“You are dangerous when you float.” Daddy said dangerous but he meant naughty because he made sounds…grown-up sounds. “That’s…I wasn’t sure this was…was what you meant when you wanted me to get in too.”
“The water is slippery.” And the bubbles made it fun. “I’m hiding. See?”
Tushy up.
Tushy down.
Tushy up.
Tushy down.
Daddy laughed and gave my tushy a pat. “Your bottom is playing Hide and Seek with the bubbles.”
“With Daddy.” That got more pats from Daddy, so I was sneaky. “Hide and Seek with Daddy.”
Tushy up higher.
Tushy down lower.
Oops…that was Daddy’s penis.
Ha.
High.
Low.
High.
Low.
Daddy moaned. “Sneaky boy.”
No giggles.
No giggles.
“I’m Daddy’s good boy.” Sneaky boys had more fun, so I had to give Daddy my serious face. “I’m doing all the work. I’m your good boy.”
Daddy knew I was good but his words got stuck.
’Cause I was good at the game.
Faster. Faster.
Soapy wiggles with bubbles were the best.
Water was wet and slippery.
And back and forth…and back and forth…and back and forth.
Ha.
I won.
Hard work was fun.
I made Daddy moan.
Best boy ever.
Wettest boy ever.
Hard work needed cookies.
Lots of cookies.
****
“Remember the rules, the first rule of tea party is not to talk about tea party with outsiders and the second is to bring good gossip.” Levi was adorably serious as he stared up at his family’s home. “What’s your gossip?”
He was insane.
“If anyone brings up the topic of divorce, I’m going to casually ask how Ms. Robins is doing with hers, and when everyone acts shocked, I’m going to frown and say I didn’t know it wasn’t common knowledge.” She was okay to gossip about because she’d fired her last three housekeepers for sleeping with her husband and we’d just found out that it’d been her sleeping with the driver.
So we didn’t have to be nice to her because she’d let all the housekeepers go without any kind of recommendation.
Rude.
“Good boy.” Levi sat straighter, alternating between worrying and forced confidence. “I usually pour, but I haven’t been home in ages so someone else might have that job. It’s okay if they do. Technically it’s my mother’s house but tea party rules apply.”
I knew the tea parties had clearly been an important part of him growing up, but I wasn’t sure he did and there didn’t seem to be a good way to ask.
I’d hoped to get a few minutes with Macy to touch base with her about tea party expectations but my mother had been following me around like a puppy. The only reason we’d escaped for the party was that my father had said he needed her help for some last-minute shopping.