Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 68478 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 342(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68478 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 342(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
“Oh, Farli,” Kemli says, surprised. She strokes my mane and holds me close. “What is it, my sweet one?”
“Why is resonance so awful?” I weep. And then I think of Mardok’s mouth on mine, his smiles, the way he touches me. “And so wonderful, too?” It feels as if I am being torn apart by the thing I love the most.
My mother just gives a knowing chuckle. “Because it is resonance. It does not ask how your heart feels. It just chooses.” She clucks and holds me close. “Come sit with me. Unburden your heart.”
She sits in her furs, and I put my head in her lap, like I did when I was a kit. She strokes my hair and waits patiently. I sniff. “Resonance is not as easy as I thought it would be.”
“I imagine yours is different than most,” my mother says. “Your mate is a stranger. Is he kind to you?”
“He is…but he does not wish to stay.” The tears start to flow again. “I want him to stay here, and he says he does not want to be left behind.”
She strokes my hair again, making a soft humming noise of acknowledgment. “It is a hard place to live. Look at how much of an ordeal it was for Shorshie and her people. When they arrived, little Air-ee-aw-nuh cried for two seasons straight, remember?”
I do. Some of the humans were miserable. Only their mates and now their kits made them happy. They still talk about the weather and the cold and the lack of things they used to have on their planet. “He would be giving up a lot to stay…but am I not enough?”
“That is a question you must ask him, my kit.” Her hands are soothing, and her presence calm. “Does he like anything here?”
“He likes me.” I sit up suddenly, looking Kemli in the eye. “He asked me to go with him, Mother.”
She is surprised. “Is such a thing possible?”
“Their machines can remove my khui. I could go with him.” The idea terrifies me, because I know nothing of his world or his people, and what I have seen so far with his companions, they are not as warm and friendly as my own people.
Mother’s eyes widen. “What does that mean for resonance?”
I spread my hands. “Without a khui, we have no bond other than how we feel.”
“And a kit?” she asks gently.
I do not know that, either. “I am not sure what to do, Mother.” I clasp her hands in mine and beg her. “Help me.”
“Oh, Farli. This is not something I can decide for you.” She pulls me into her arms and hugs me tight. “If it will make you happy, go with him. If it will not make you happy, stay.”
“If I leave, I will never see you again,” I tell her fretfully.
“And if you stay, you will never see him again.” She cups my face in her hands. “Only you can decide where your path will take you.”
Do I choose my mate or my family and my tribe? I have no answers. I only know that if Mardok leaves, he takes my heart with him. Will I ever be happy again if he is gone? I think of old Eklan, who grieved his mate every day until he died. How can I let my mate leave? I rest my head on my mother’s shoulder, torn. How can I leave my family behind, though? My mother and my father? My brothers and their mates—and their adorable kits? My friends, both human and sa-khui? I will never see another kit join the tribe, never participate in another sa-kohtsk hunt, never celebrate another pair’s resonance. I will never see Taushen and Sessah mated with kits at their hearths.
I will never see anyone ever again.
But how can I lose my mate now that I’ve found him? If it is truly as simple as saying yes and following him to his ship, why do I not jump at the chance? Have I not always wanted adventure? Is this not the greatest adventure to be had?
My mother smooths my mane away from my face. “If you worry over Chahm-pee, we will take care of him. No one will eat him. He will live to a very old age and be fat and happy.”
I feel my eyes fill with tears again. “You are wonderful, Mother.”
“I am your mother. I will love you and honor whatever decision will make you happy.” Her eyes shine with tears of her own. “Even if it takes you far, far away from me.”
11
MARDOK
For three days, we stay with the tribe with no answers from Vektal or his people.
Captain Chatav is growing upset at the delay. I don’t blame him—every day we linger is another day that our delivery window gets a little narrower. From the sounds of it, this delivery will break him—and the crew of the Lady—if it’s not delivered on time. He’s agitated, but his soldier’s code won’t let him leave without an answer. Leaving someone behind would be the wrong thing to do, and Chatav is a man of his word. He won’t leave until he gets a definitive response.