Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 73012 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73012 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Kason Maddox is about to fuck me.
My boyfriend is about to fuck me.
That word boyfriend, as happy as I want to let it make me, sends me into a tailspin of doubt and fear, so I do my best to shut off that train of thought, lock down the tracks, close off the fucking tunnel. Do not enter. Doubt isn’t allowed here. I just want to enjoy this moment for what it is, enjoy these weeks or months or however long it is we play this game because Kason is so fucking good and I want that.
I open the bathroom door and walk out to see him lying in the middle of his king-size bed, waiting for me. He’s shirtless and wearing his athletic pants, his white, plush bedding looking like a cloud beneath him. He gives me a smile that’s half confident, half tentative, like he thinks I might change my mind or wonders if this is the right thing to do. I appreciate his wanting to make sure I know he’s not only around for my hole, but he doesn’t realize I actually need this—need it from him.
I walk over, noticing the condoms and lube on the nightstand. Such a Boy Scout, always prepared. When I get to the bed, I climb on top of him, straddling his lap. “Thank you.” I trace his left collarbone with my finger.
“For what?”
“This.” That same finger dances its way down his chest. “I want to connect with you this way. I’ve had a lot of hookups, and sex with one so-called boyfriend, but I’ve never had sex with someone who really cares about me, someone who is a good friend and who’s thinking about what’s best for me.”
Admitting that makes my skin heat, makes it prickle with discomfort because it’s letting Kason see more of the real me, the one that’s not hiding behind bravado and always trying to be a good time.
When he doesn’t respond right away, I add, “It doesn’t hurt that you’re hot too,” but he doesn’t take the bait, doesn’t let me pretend I meant what I said in any way other than what I had.
Kason reaches up and cups my face. “Jesus, Ant. You don’t even know what you do to me. You haven’t left my head for one moment for months. And I do care about you. You’re so fucking sweet and perfect. How can I not?” This time it’s Kason’s fingertips playing over my skin, tapping out a melody that only my body can hear. He keeps going south, doesn’t stop until he reaches my half-hard cock, which swells just from being in his presence. “I’ll make sure you know how much I want you, how much I crave you, how fucking pretty and sexy you are, inside and out.”
I tremble at his touch. “Tell me more.” I lick one of his nipples. “Like…if I were to turn around…maybe spread my cheeks for you…would you tell me how much you like what you see?” Because I want to hear that from him. Want Kason to tell me, but it’s not like me to be too passive when it comes to my body and desire either. It used to get on Malcolm’s nerves, and I quieted that part of myself with him, let him make me believe there was something wrong with owning my desire and that the bad sex was all my fault.
“Hey, where did you go? None of that. You stay right here in the moment with me, sexy. If you turn around, I’m going to use a lot more than words on you. I’m going to give you my fingers…my tongue. I’ve been dying to taste your pretty ass. I was hard the whole night at Lush, watching you dance in that tiny Speedo.”
My pulse jumps, a smile pulling at my lips. “Even back then?”
“Yes. I’ve been physically attracted to you since the first time I saw you, gorgeous. When I got to know you, all it made me do is want you more.”
God, I love hearing things like that from him. I’ve never craved hearing it from anyone else, but every time Kason tells me how much he desires me, it flips all these switches inside me I didn’t even know I had.
“Well, now you have me…naked and waiting for you. I can’t wait to see what you’ll do with me.” I turn around on his lap, on my hands and knees, arching prettily for him.
Kason groans, his cock visibly growing beneath his pants.
“Back up a little more,” he tells me, and I do as he says. As ridiculous as it sounds, my body already feels weak, my arms wobbly with the lust shooting through me, making it hard to hold myself up. “Fuck…look at this ass. Shake it for me.”
Again, I do as Kason says, giving my bootie a jiggle and making it bounce just right.