Series: Willow Winters
Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 72146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
I shouldn’t be here, and for a moment, I nearly turn and make my leave. Instead, I speak freely since he speaks not.
“Since you’ve been watching, you must want to know more about me. I am terribly sorry to disappoint you, but there’s not much to know. I live my life before the court, and I rarely share my thoughts. I’ve been waiting a year for a marriage proposal, or for my father to tell me he was making arrangements, and just tonight, he said he was going to.”
He is so quiet. He must also be discreet, because I have hardly seen this man. A shadow can’t be obvious.
He must have intended to stay hidden.
I don’t know what it is about him, but I feel I can say anything.
“Just after my father and I danced to open the ball,” I continue, feeling a rush of relief. “He said this would be the year he would make arrangements for me to be married. But no potential matches have presented themselves. My father has not come to me with suggestions. It seems there is no interest.”
He says nothing and only listens, but he shifts his weight slightly. The thoughts in my head were merely fantasies, weren’t they? This man does not want me. I have simply imagined it. With a shallow breath, I prepare myself for a confession I could not even tell Isabel.
“So tonight I thought about it for every second of the ball, and I decided it does not matter if there are no princes who would have me. Because perhaps I do not want to be married. I don’t want to be controlled. I don’t want my father to choose a man for me. I don’t want to discover too late that my new husband wants to dress me up like a doll and pose me every minute of the day. I want to control my life. It is mine, and I should get to control it. Perhaps my husband…perhaps he could control me in bed. I think I would like that,” I finish and cannot believe that I was bold enough to say it.
I peer at the man who remains deathly still.
For a minute, I can’t breathe. What I want could be standing only steps away. What would happen if I went to him? Touched him? Lifted my face up for a kiss? We are alone and secluded, and if anyone is looking for me, we still have time before we could be discovered.
Would he be willing to give me what I want?
Would he be willing to show me what I want?
“But how would I find a man like that?” I ask, when I have caught my breath. I find the courage to turn and look into the shadows, but they are empty. The man is gone.
Chapter 4
Cora
Over the next week, I look for the man from the shadows everywhere I go, but I do not see him. My mind plays tricks on me and I start to think I’ve imagined him.
I think I might see him in the great hall each evening at dinner, but then the person turns around and it is a barmaid or another member of the court, and it can’t be him. After three days, I sneak out of my rooms at night and roam the halls, looking for him.
There are few stewards and guards about at this late hour, so I mostly do not have to explain myself. If I am questioned—and I am usually not questioned—I tell them that I couldn’t sleep, so I am taking a walk to settle my mind.
When there is not a ball being held, the ballroom is dark aside from a few sconces burning by the windows. The chandeliers remain unlit. I do not cross the dance floor. Instead, I make loops of the balcony above, then pace aimlessly through the connected rooms.
I look for him on the outer balcony and do not find him. Although his masculine scent seems to drift toward me. Quickly I turn, hope and an ounce of fear blooming in my chest that he is close, but I find the space empty. His broad shoulders cloaked in shadows are nowhere to be found. It makes no sense that my mind should linger on the man, given he refused to even speak to me. And yet, my imagination runs away with me nearly every night when I dream of him touching me…taking advantage in ways no one has ever dared before.
I should be enraged by the disrespect he showed by not responding to a princess…and yet, the things I dream of are more than disrespectful. They’re downright sinful.
Sullied with thoughts I should not have, I go back to my rooms with my mind unsettled with desire. I find myself alone once again when I shut the heavy door behind me. Alice and Blanche have long since gone to bed.