Series: Willow Winters
Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 72146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Depending on how my father takes the news, I could lose some—or all—of my royal inheritance. I will lose political sway with most of the other kingdoms, and my new husband might lose his influence as well.
A new wave of anxiousness comes over me but I stifle it down.
It is a fact that I am no longer a virgin, but it is not a fact that needs to weigh on Alice and Blanche.
“I don’t need more sleep.” I give them my brightest smile. “I’ll simply get dressed early today.”
I’m dressed early enough to take one of the horses from the royal stables and ride on the grounds. I misjudged my soreness entirely and groan in a bit of pain as I mount him. This was very possibly a mistake, but one I cannot let on. With a gritted smile, I spend my morning with a slow walk of my horse, Galen, and the beautiful sunshine. He’s a beautiful chestnut, and I struggle to maintain a straight face as he pulls to a gallop along the fields as we usually do.
Two guards on horseback trail me at a respectful distance. After a while, I’m numb to it, but not completely. My mind is plagued with the thoughts of last night and I drift off.
I think about the man in my bed over and over. The grounds are green and lush ahead of me, with a forest on one side and a meadow on the other, and even surrounded by this beauty, my mind keeps returning to those few minutes I spent with a stranger in the dark.
Of the most shocking feelings is the pride. I’ve chosen my own suitor for the first time in my life. It was my decision and no one else’s. Well apart from the stranger in the shadows who indulged in the act with me. Loosening the reins and allowing Galen to pull into a full stride, I wonder if he’ll be there today. I wonder if he’s waiting for me. Surely he enjoyed himself as well? I wonder if he would enjoy it again.
“Does he count as a stranger now that we’ve been together?” I whisper comically to my horse, who pays no attention to me.
I do not count as a stranger to him, I decide. He knows my body intimately. He could see the way I moved and feel how I reacted. He knows much more of me than I know of him.
I take a deep breath and urge my horse on faster.
The man in the shadows could be any man at court, and the only way I would know is if he spoke to me. But he did not, although the groans of pleasure he made will be etched into my memory forever.
I tip my face to the sun and let the breeze blow through my hair.
Though I was heated and not completely in control of myself when I spoke the words in the sitting room, it was what I wanted. I wanted to be taken. I wanted to know the pleasure of being fucked by a man before I got married. It was shocking to find that I have such power over a man. It was shocking to find that he wanted me—it seems—as much as I wanted him.
Yes, there were times when I was afraid. I was afraid he would not come, and I was afraid he would come, and I was afraid I would somehow disappoint him.
But in many ways, it was the perfect encounter. He did not speak, and I did my best to muffle my sounds. It was dangerous for us to speak, so I could not embarrass myself. My body showed him what I desired, and he gave me more of it.
He gave me more of…him.
It was the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me, and it did not happen by chance. It happened because I asked for it, and the man in the shadows—whoever he is—gave it to me.
It’s scary to be given what you want. I did not know that so clearly until now. I was so nervous, but I was also exhilarated and thrilled and—in the end—I was satisfied. I was not left wanting more.
Not in the moment, anyway. Now, as I speed across the green grass on my horse, I can feel want growing in me. I want another visit at night. I would accept a blindfold, if it was necessary.
Would the man wish to be my lover? The only harm would be in getting caught. But if I do not accept a hand, and it appears there are none waiting for me, I can live my life as I wish.
I want more of the pleasure that man can offer, and I am not so certain that I can find it with anyone else.