Series: Willow Winters
Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 72146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
I get to my feet.
“I apologize,” I say, nearly stuttering, and know I should make some excuse. I should say I’m tired. I should say I have a headache. But I’m only sorry for my rudeness, not that he’s leaving. “I apologize,” I say again, cupping my hands in front of me. Beside me, my father lets out a heavy sigh.
Grimly, I think it might be over then. I pace my rooms for hours that night. The anxiousness I’ve been chasing away with good behavior returns. Should I have done something different? Should I have tried my best with all of them, even if it didn’t feel right?
I shouldn’t have. That’s the only answer I can settle on. If I’d tried with them, even after my gut feeling said no, then I would be betraying myself.
I’d also be betraying these men. It does not matter in the end why they have chosen this moment to come to me.
In the back of my mind, a voice whispers that I might have gotten over it. Perhaps once we were married, one of them—and their faces blur together in my head so I can hardly remember one more than the other—one of them might have learned to give me what I want. One of them might have made a point of getting to know me, and getting to know my desires, and making them happen. I may be able to get away with my sinful deed if I lie to the physician and inform him that I’d taken my needs into my own hands after the first ball and plead with him to understand. After all I’ve heard that horseback riding has caused bleeding as well.
It is a new dream to want to get away with what I’ve done.
I sleep late the next morning and am rushed through bathing and getting dressed before a guard knocks at the door. He gives Blanche a message in a quiet voice, and she returns with a solemn expression on her face.
“The prince who planned to present himself this morning has decided not to come.”
It is over, then. A shocking sadness moves through me at the realization. It’s over, and I may never get another chance.
I’ve gotten my wish then, haven’t I? I may turn into a queen that instead of having suitors, takes a lover in secret. The kingdom will whisper, and I do not know how long it would stay secret. The council will surely frown on such a decision. And then there’s the topic of who would be heir. It all weighs heavily, far more so than I imagined.
But that afternoon, there’s a commotion in the castle. It doesn’t sound like anyone in distress, so I wait in my rooms until Alice and Blanche come in at speed, telling me there is another prince.
“He decided to come after all?” I am ashamed of the excitement in my voice.
“No, Princess, it is another.”
“Another?”
“Apparently last year it appeared your father would not take well to suitors,” she says with a tilted head and then smiles. “This year was much different as your father was more gracious with the idea in his talks.”
My lips part in disbelief. It was my father’s demeanor that’s led to this?
With him on my mind, my father comes to escort me down the grand staircase, but the prince is not waiting for me at the bottom.
The handsome gentleman comes in through the castle’s main entrance a moment later, surrounded by his men and still in his riding clothes. His dirty blond hair is mussed from the ride. The prince pushes a careless hand through it, but does not seem concerned about meeting me in this state.
“Your Highness,” he says with a bow. My brow quirks at his confidence. He’s tall and quite handsome for being so polished and posh. “Princess Cora. I am Prince Jasper. I’m pleased to make your acquaintance, but unfortunately there is news from home, and I will not be in attendance for dinner. It would be an honor if you would join me for tea tomorrow?”
“Of course,” my father agrees without hesitation, and I’m left glancing between them before nodding my acceptance.
“I will only be able to stay a week,” the prince says, handing off his gloves to one of his men. “Might I impose upon you to have any other suitors wait until I’ve gone?”
“Consider it done,” my father assures him.
My mouth drops open, and I stare up at my father before I can snap it shut. He does not look back at me. I can see from this angle that he is…relieved.
“Our servants will show you to your rooms, Prince Jasper,” my father says. “Welcome to our castle.”
“Thank you, King Andrew.” The prince looks up at my father with a sincere expression of gratitude, but hardly seems to glance at me. “I appreciate your hospitality.”