Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 54899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 274(@200wpm)___ 220(@250wpm)___ 183(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 274(@200wpm)___ 220(@250wpm)___ 183(@300wpm)
“Yes.” He’s eyeing me warily, intently studying my expression to read my reaction.
I study him in return, debating my next question.
Finally, I ask, “How do you feel about it? About killing those people?”
His face goes utterly blank.
“Tell me,” I coax. “I’ve told you how I killed my foster brother, Carter. I did it to save myself. You said you killed to survive, too. I need to know how you feel about it. I still have nightmares about what I did,” I add. “I’ve barely learned to live with it.”
His hand twitches, as though he wants to reach for me. Then his fingers curl into a fist when he restrains himself.
“You told me Carter tried to rape you. Never feel a shred of remorse for what you did to that bastard.”
The full horror of that night threatens to spill out of me. I crave absolution for what I did to Brandon, too. Even if he had been planning to share me with Carter, I can’t erase the agony over the fact that I murdered my first love.
“Tell me,” I press instead of responding to his firm decree. “How do you sleep at night after killing, even if it was to survive?”
His jaw firms. “I don’t suffer from nightmares. I sleep just fine. They were all bad men.”
I peer into his flinty eyes. “You don’t feel a shred of remorse?”
He cuts his gaze away but counters, “They were all criminals. The world is a safer place without them. I don’t want to tell you the kind of men they were.”
“You do feel bad about it,” I observe quietly. “Otherwise, you’d be able to look me in the eye when you said it.”
Defiance hardens his features. “If you think I feel remorse over killing your stalker just now, you’re mistaken. I would do anything to protect you.”
“I know.” I read the truth plainly in every taut line of his body.
He would kill for me again without question.
“You saved my life,” I murmur. “Thank you.”
“Never thank me for that. I will never let anyone hurt you. I couldn’t live with it if anyone causes you pain.”
“You hurt me,” I say, and I see the blow land despite my gentle tone. “You lied to me. You scared me.”
“Are you still scared? Because I’m a killer?”
I press my lips together, taking time to mull over my answer before I inflict more damage.
“No, that’s not what scares me.”
He dares to take my hand in his, caging my fingers in a careful grip. Sparks dance up my arm, our chemistry as potent as ever.
“You’re scared because I lied to you. I understand. But the only thing that scares me in this world is losing you,” he admits. “I will do anything to earn your trust again. Let me. Please.”
I carefully extricate my hand from his, and his face crumples.
“I need space,” I murmur. “I need to think about all this.”
“Tell me there’s a chance for us,” he pleads. “Don’t shut me out forever. I need you, Karolina. I know you don’t want to hear that, but I’m done lying to you. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
I shiver. “It’s too much. You’re obsessed with me, but I barely know you.”
“I’ve been in love with you for years. If that’s obsession, I can’t apologize for it. I can’t regret it. The only thing I regret is the distrust in your eyes right now.”
“I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”
His eyes flash with hope. “But you want to. I can start with that. I’ll prove myself to you every day.”
I hold up my hand. He has to stop with these intense declarations. They’re so keenly sweet that they cut at my heart. It’s terrifying.
“I’m not ready for this. I need you to leave. I need some time to think.”
He shakes his head. “You’re not safe without me here.”
I take his hand, squeezing in reassurance before I can stop myself. “My stalker is dead. I’m safe, Rand.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone,” he confesses.
“No,” I counter softly. “You just don’t want to leave. I need you to respect me and listen to what I’m asking.”
He draws in a shaky breath and squeezes my fingers in return. “Of course, I respect you. You’re the strongest woman I know. Anything you want, I’ll give it to you. Even if that means giving you space.”
He looks as though the prospect causes him physical pain.
“Thank you.” I withdraw my hand from his.
“When will I see you again?” he rasps.
“We have class tomorrow.”
I’m dreading it, but I won’t allow anything to tear my new life away from me.
“So,” he says bitterly, “I’m back to being Professor Hirst.”
“You’re the one who chose to take that job,” I remind him, but there’s no acid in the words. “I need to think through what you’ve done, but you need to consider the choices you’ve made, too. None of this is right, Rand.”