Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 54899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 274(@200wpm)___ 220(@250wpm)___ 183(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 274(@200wpm)___ 220(@250wpm)___ 183(@300wpm)
Being enfolded in his strong arms is so reassuring that it makes my eyes sting.
“Lena, do you want to come with me to—?” Amala’s question ends on a sharp gasp.
My stomach drops to the floor, and I tear my lips from Rand’s.
She’s staring at us with shock, her mouth hanging open in disbelief.
“I was just coming to check on you,” she babbles. “Sorry, Lena. I’ll just… I’ll go now.”
She darts out of the lecture hall.
“Amala, wait!”
Rand grabs my wrist, chaining me to him so that I can’t go after my friend to explain.
I jerk free of his hold, and his crestfallen expression is a knife in my heart.
I take a step back, forcibly putting more distance between me and my professor.
“Don’t push me away,” he rasps. “Not now.”
I ease farther back. “I need space.”
“Please, Karolina.”
I shudder, and his eyes flash.
“Don’t tell me you don’t want to be with me,” he insists. “Don’t lie to us both.”
“This is too much for me,” I reply, strained. “I’m not rejecting you, but I’m freaking out. Can’t you understand that? Please give me some space so I can process all this. I have to figure out what I’m going to do.”
“We can figure it out together,” he declares. “You don’t need an MA. I don’t have to be your professor. You’re talented enough to—”
I hold up a hand to silence him, my cheeks flushing with anger. “You don’t know how hard I’ve worked for this. I’m not just going to throw my life away for you. I…care about you, but I won’t sacrifice everything I’ve built.”
He looks as though I’ve gutted him with the same knife that’s twisting in my own heart.
“Call me when you’re ready to talk.” He manages to force the words through his clenched teeth.
His entire body is practically vibrating with the barely leashed need to reach for me.
But he’s restraining himself. He won’t push me to accept him when I’m not ready.
Looking into his shining eyes, I get the impression that he would wait forever for me. His devotion is so all consuming that it makes something inside me quake—equal parts fear and traitorous desire.
I offer him a jerky nod and rush out of the lecture hall, escaping his allure.
I’m not sure how I’ll resolve this, but lingering with my professor after I was just caught kissing him is the last thing I need to do right now.
If Amala tells anyone at the university…
I toss away the panic before it can consume me. I won’t lose my new life as Lena Williams. I’ll find a way to make things right.
I have to.
5
KAROLINA
Istare at my laptop, but words don’t flow from my fingers. Attempting to work on my novel is useless when all I can think about is the shock on Amala’s face when she caught me with Rand only an hour ago.
I stare at my phone, reading the message I sent her for the dozenth time.
Karolina
Can you meet me, please? I need to talk to you.
As though I’ve willed her to finally answer me, her reply fills my screen.
Amala
Where and when?
I suck in a deep breath, but I don’t quite dare to hope she’ll accept the fact that I was kissing my professor.
At least she’s responded. She might give me a chance to explain.
Well, there’s not much I can tell her about the situation. I’m not willing to reveal that Rand is also the online masked man I’ve been talking to for years. That’s too perverse.
And from an outsider’s perspective, I have to acknowledge it’s pretty unhinged that he got a job at University of York just to be with me.
At the very least, I can tell Amala that I know Rand from before our MA started. As he said, our course only lasts a year, and we’re almost the same age. It’s not socially acceptable that we have a relationship, but if I explain to Amala that we have history, it might sway her.
She might agree to keep the secret that could cost me everything.
I harden my resolve and type out another message.
Karolina
Are you free now? I’m at Brownie Bakehouse.
Amala
I can meet you there in half an hour.
Karolina
Thank you.
She reads my text but doesn’t say anything else.
The next thirty minutes will be painful, but at least she’s agreed to talk.
All I can do is hope her kind nature prevails, and she doesn’t come here simply to judge me for my choices.
“Karolina.” A masculine voice says my name, but it’s not Rand.
My entire body locks up tight. No one in York should know who I am.
My stalker is dead.
The stranger plucks my phone from my chilled fingers and settles down in the empty chair across from me.
I have no idea who he is. A touch of grey at his temples lightens his otherwise black hair, and his olive skin is slightly weathered with early signs of aging. He’s rakishly attractive, but his nose looks like it’s been broken a few times.