Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 85616 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85616 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
The labels were comical, but they also came from a place of hurt.
“Did anyone else in your family know?” Miles asked.
I nodded, happy to move off the topic of my dad but not super excited about the direction it turned. “Most of my dad’s side of the family. Some of them are even druids, so they knew all about us. My cousin, he’s a druid. I remember the day he went to his awakening ceremony. I wasn’t allowed to go—no one else but the apprentice and their elder can go—but he described some of it to me, about how he felt like he could talk to every tree, feel every deer, smell every plant.” I gave a shrug. “Sounded like he just had some really strong sativa to me, but no, he’s really a druid.”
I didn’t love talking about my cousin. Benji and I were as close as brothers. He was the one thing I missed from my old life, from pre-divorce. I didn’t even miss my dad as much as I missed my cousin.
Miles must have read something in my face because he leaned in, locking his eyes on mine. “Reach out to him. I can see how much he meant to you. It’s worth seeing if you can reconnect.”
“I don’t know… I thought about it when we were at Hunter’s house. But—”
“But what?”
“I don’t like rejection, or emotional conflict. I don’t want to open up a wound that’s already scabbed. I don’t know if that’s worth it.”
“Those things are scary and uncomfortable, but it’s also not a guarantee that any of that will happen. What makes you think he won’t reply with the same kind of optimism and attitude that you have?”
I pursed my lips. Age-old question. Why did I torment myself with the worst-case scenario every time I was confronted with a little bit of doubt and insecurity? “I guess it could go the other way.”
“And it most likely will. If he’s anything like you, then I really doubt he’ll push you away.”
I let go of a deep breath, then took the last bite of my steak and thought it through. Typically, my anxiety would push Jesus out of the way and steal the wheel, but with Miles here, it was like my anxiety was scared off. Like shadows being pushed away by the light. Never truly gone, but made much less stark. Their power leeched away, and shifted in a more positive direction.
“Fine,” I grumbled. If the worst happened then so be it, at least I tried. And if it didn’t happen then that meant Benji and I were back in touch, and that was more than enough to take the chance.
“Fuck yeah,” Miles said. “Send him a message. Right now.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, we already have his social media. Just send him a message.”
Damn. This man really had me in the palm of his paw, didn’t he? All he had to do was blink in my direction and I was listening to any of his commands.
I decided not to fight it. I gave in. Grabbed my phone, opened the app, and searched his name. Sure enough, he was the top hit. I hit Follow, which then allowed me to send him a message. Why the hell did I suddenly feel nervous? My mind went blank. “What do I even say? It’s been like ten years.”
“Say something like… ‘Hey, Benji. I know it’s been a while. I was hoping you’d be open to a phone call or a FaceTime so we can talk…. I want to make things right between us.’”
That was perfect. I typed out every word. Something was needed though. I typed out the last words without trying to second-guess myself with every letter.
Miss you.
I looked up, catching Miles’ encouraging gaze. He gave me a smile. I knew this was the right choice. I pressed send. There. Done.
Holy shit, holy fucking shit. I’d been thinking about doing this for so long. I’d always come up with a new excuse. Another reason to back out. But not this time. Miles helped push me over the edge on this one. It had still been my choice to make but I wasn’t entirely sure I would have made it if it wasn’t for Miles. Having him around made me feel as if nothing could go wrong in this world. I knew that wasn’t actually possible—to have a completely smooth ride through life without any turbulence—but having Miles sitting across from me, encouraging me, his amazing food in my belly and his sweet scent in my lungs, I felt like I’d never have another problem in my entire life.
Things were meant to be. Fate was real. And I had to believe that fate didn’t have it out for me like I thought she had this entire time.
If fate really did want me to suffer, then Miles never would have crossed my path.