Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 137144 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137144 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
“He’s dead,” Lily said. “We don’t know who did it, but he probably had enemies. Mother lost her mind after telling me what she’d done. Her part in all of it. Harvey’s brother ensured that her bail was revoked.”
“It’s not enough for her to be in a psych unit.”
“It is, though,” Lily said. “She has nothing. She is nothing.”
Clem stared at her for a long moment. “You’re right. That is perfect. She abused you just as much as he did.”
“Yeah, she did,” Lily said hoarsely, barely able to hold back her tears.
“It must be really hard knowing that happened to you, but having no memory of it,” Jaret said.
“My mind plays tricks on me. It brings up what I think are memories, but I don’t really know if they are or not. I have nightmares where I wake up screaming and Harvey . . .”
“Harvey what?” Jaret asked.
“Harvey always holds me. He holds me tight because he knows that’s what I need, or I’ll feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. And then he’ll talk to me, tell me stories about his childhood until I go back to sleep.”
“So he’s taking good care of you?” Clem asked.
“Harvey takes such good care of me.”
“But you left him,” Jaret said. “You left him and came here because you thought you weren’t good enough for him?”
“I know I’m not good enough for him.”
“Did you tell him you were coming here?” Jaret asked.
She shook her head no. “I snuck out of his house. I’m really ashamed of that now. I should message him and tell him I’m all right.”
“I think you should do that too,” Jaret said. “I also think that you should stay here with us. Don’t you, Clem?”
That was a really generous offer, and one she couldn’t take him up on, not when it was Jaret who had asked her and not Clem.
Her sister was silent as she stared out the window above the sink. Her hands were clenched around the countertop.
“Thanks for the offer, Jaret. But I can’t stay. I’ve got to get my life sorted out. Find a job, somewhere to live, something to do.
I thought about giving up. After all, what was the point of being here? But I don’t want my life to mean nothing. So far, I feel like I’ve done nothing. I’ve just been a pawn, and that’s partly my own fault because I should have fought harder. I should have been stronger like Clem, but I’ve never been that.”
“What kind of bullshit is that?” Clem snapped, turning.
“Clem,” Jaret said warningly.
“No. You stay out of this. She’s my sister. I don’t interfere in your family stuff.”
Jaret gave her an incredulous look. “You interfere all the time in my family stuff.”
“Hush. I want to talk to Lily. What’s this bullshit about you not being strong?”
“I’m not strong. I’m not like you.”
“Do you know how many people would have given up after what you’ve been through?”
“I just told you that I nearly did.”
“Yeah, nearly. But instead, you bought a bus ticket, traveled across the country by yourself to come talk to me. How’d you get the money to do any of this? Did you steal it from Harvey?”
“Of course I didn’t. I still had some jewelry and my handbag. I pawned them for a surprisingly good amount of money. That meant I could buy a bus ticket, stay in a couple of motels, and afford that car.”
“Have you got any money left?” Jaret asked.
Hmm, she didn’t really want to reply to that.
“Enough.”
Clem let out a small bark of laughter. “That means you’ve got nothing.” And then she pointed at Lily. “You’re staying here. No arguments.”
“Clem, you really don’t have to do that. All I wanted was to see if maybe we could think about building a relationship, if perhaps you might think about forgiving me.”
Clem wiped her hand through the air. “Nope, nope, none of that.”
Disappointment flooded Lily, even as she told herself that she deserved that reaction.
“No forgiveness needed, and we’re not building a relationship, we already have a relationship. You and me, we’re sisters. We might be different, and there might be things in the past that we wish we’d done differently, but now, we look to the future.”
“Clem, you can’t just forgive me just like that,” Lily told her. “There were things that I did years ago that I shouldn’t have.”
“I grew up in the same household as you did, Lily. I know it wasn’t easy to get through it, and you did what you could.”
“When I could, I’d try to keep her attention off you and on me, so that she wouldn’t pick on you as much. But I could have done more. I should have done more, Clem.”
Clem nodded. “Yeah, well, I should have done more too. So we’re even.”
Lily didn’t think they were in the slightest bit even, but if Clem was going to forgive her, then maybe she should just accept that and move forward.