Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 137144 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137144 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
“What am I doing here?” he repeated.
Poor guy seemed to be having a bit of trouble keeping up with what she was saying. It was probably because he was so exhausted.
“Yes. Are you sure you’re okay?”
He ran his hand down his face. “Lily, I’m here for you. Why else would I be here? And no, I didn’t drive all the way. I flew into Houston, then rented this car and drove the rest of the way.”
“You’re here for me?”
“Of course I’m here for you. Why else would I be here? Lily, why did you take off the way you did? Why did you leave without waiting for me, or at least leaving me a note? Why haven’t you called?”
Guilt filled her and she didn’t know what to say to him. How did she explain everything that had happened? How did she explain her mindset or the fact that she hadn’t been able to call because of the guilt?
Because she knew she shouldn’t have run off the way that she had. It had been immature and stupid.
“I don’t . . .” She rubbed at her temple. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Do you know how worried I’ve been about you? I haven’t been able to sleep. I didn’t know if you had any money, if you had any way of getting around. I didn’t know where you were sleeping, if you were eating. If it wasn’t for Clem, I’d still be worrying about you.”
“Clem? What about Clem?”
“When you went missing, I called your sister and asked her to tell me if you turned up here. Yesterday, she called and let me know you were here.”
“She never told me!” Was that why she’d taken off in a rush to get feed? Because she’d known Harvey was on his way?
“I got on the first flight I could find and got myself here. Lily, why did you run off like that?”
“Because you deserve better than me, Harvey.”
“Why do you say that? Because of what my sister and her friend said? Are you really going to let other people dictate what I want, what I need, what I deserve? Or are you going to let me decide that for myself? Do I seem like the type of person who doesn’t know what he wants and needs?”
“No, you don’t,” she whispered.
Oh God. What had she done?
“That’s right, I don’t. I know my own mind. And have you forgotten that I was the one who decided I wanted you, and did whatever I had to in order to make it happen?”
Yeah, she had kind of forgotten that for a moment, hadn’t she?
“Don’t you think that if I decided you were too much work or that you weren’t what I wanted, that I would tell you, like an adult?”
“I thought maybe you felt sorry for me.”
“Lily St. Clary,” he said with a stern look. “Felt sorry for you? Why would I feel sorry for you?”
“You don’t feel sorry for me after everything I’ve been through?”
“Of course I do. I’d feel sorry for anybody who’s been through something like you have, but that doesn’t mean that I would take them into my house, look after them, sleep next to them, kiss them, cuddle them, feed them, wash them, and hold their hair while they vomited, does it?”
A tear dripped down her face. Oh my God, she’d made a terrible mistake.
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Do you think I would do that for anyone who I didn’t love, that I didn’t want in my life permanently?”
“No.” This time she let out a small sob. “I’m so sorry, Harvey,” she said. “I made a big mistake, didn’t I?”
“You shouldn’t have left, Lily. Not like that.”
“I know. I wasn’t thinking. I was so stupid. Why did I leave like that? I heard them talking, and everything they said seemed to reinforce every negative thought I’d had. I just felt so wrong. Not worthy of you. Not worthy of anyone, really. And I just couldn’t stay there in that house anymore. I thought if I left it would be best for you. That you could move on without me.”
So dumb. What had she been thinking?
“Only thing is that I didn’t want to move on, Lily.”
What did she say to that?
“Did you jump off the balcony of the bedroom?” he asked, wiping the tears from her eyes with his thumbs.
“Yeah, because if I went out the front door, I might have had to talk to your sister and her friend. And I wasn’t ready to do that.”
“What did you do for money?” he asked. “How did you get here?”
“Inside my handbag was some jewelry. I pawned that and my handbag and bought a bus ticket. My only thought was to go to Clem. I just needed to apologize to her in order to find some closure.”
“And did you think about me at all?”