Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 137144 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137144 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
He studied her closely. It was as though he could read her every thought and fear.
“Why do you look so scared all of a sudden, baby?”
“I just . . . just the thought of going back there makes me feel like I want to vomit.”
His eyes narrowed. “You know that you’re not ever going back there, though, right? You’re aware that under no circumstances would I ever allow it, not even with me by your side the entire time.”
That was the Harvey she was used to, bossy and demanding. Relief flooded her.
Maybe she hadn’t ruined everything. Maybe it wasn’t too late to get them back on the right path.
If only she knew that this was the right path.
Wait. Did she want this? To be in a relationship with him?
Shit. She was so confused.
Yeah, a therapist would probably have a field day with her. They’d probably claim that she saw him as her hero because of everything he’d done for her. But he wasn’t entirely a hero, was he?
And yet, she didn’t seem to care about that anymore. Because she also couldn’t deny her feelings for him. And that the thought of not being with him was even scarier than the thought of going back to that clinic or her mother’s house.
Shit. She really didn’t want to be without him.
“Lily, are you going to answer me? You know that’s not happening, right?”
“Yes, I know,” she replied. “I know you’d never do that to me.”
“What’s going on inside your head? Is there anything you want to talk to me about?”
Tell him how you’re feeling. Tell him that you do want to be with him, and that you want to take this morning back.
But as she tried to say the words they got stuck in her throat.
What if he tried to take things further and she completely freaked out? It had been ten days since she’d been taken from her mother’s house. Ten days during which she’d spent a lot of time vomiting, shivering, and shaking in bed.
Her body was still weak, and it might not recover for a long time. At least that’s what Michaela had told her. There could be setbacks along the way.
Was she ready for sex? Was she ready for intimacy? Could she handle all of that?
And perhaps he’d changed his mind after this morning. Maybe he’d discovered that she was too much work. She couldn’t blame him for that.
“I’m just really confused,” she finally said. “With all of this, with my mother’s role in all of this. Everything has changed, and it’s really hard to keep up with it all.”
Sympathy filled his face, and he reached over to grasp hold of her hand in his. She clung to him, unable to stop herself, but the feel of him was enough to help her nerves settle.
Was she always going to be like this? Jumpy and indecisive, worried, on edge?
God, she hoped not. Michaela had also offered to give her something to help calm her, but she’d understood when Lily had said no. Taking more drugs didn’t seem to be the answer to her.
Although there was a part of her that wondered if that had been the correct decision as well.
See what she meant? She was so indecisive.
She was certain that he wouldn’t want to be with someone who went back and forth like this.
What she needed to do was take a moment and be sure.
“I get it, Lily. Even with everything you’ve gone through you’re still here, still so strong. You’re doing so well. I’m so proud of you.”
Wow. She couldn’t remember when anyone had ever told her that they were proud of her. Tears filled her eyes, and she felt one drip down her cheek.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, standing abruptly. He walked around the kitchen island to take her into his arms, holding her tight. “What did I say to upset you?”
“I’m not upset. Well, I am but not like you might think. I just can’t remember anyone ever telling me that they were proud of me.”
“Oh, Lily,” he said, as he pulled her up higher, so she was on her tiptoes. “I am forever proud of you. You’re doing amazing. You’re showing so much strength. We’re going to get through this and everything is going to be fine.”
That’s right. It would be. And he was touching her again. Relief filled her. Maybe nothing had changed at all, and she didn’t need to worry.
Then he pulled back and helped her sit again. Instead of walking away, he sat next to her and reached over to pull his plate closer.
He started eating again.
“What next?” she asked.
“We’ve got people watching both the clinic and your mother’s house. But we need to get one of them to talk.”
What did that mean?
Actually, maybe she was better off not knowing.
“Are you going to eat that?” he asked as he finished off his sandwich and stood.