Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86422 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86422 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
“It felt safer then. Expected?” He explains. “I’d been trying to work up the nerve but the timing was always off, and then the kiss happened, and you didn’t say anything, but you didn’t try to avoid me either.”
“I thought maybe it was hockey gala hormones and my cleavage and the drinks and dancing,” I admit.
“It was definitely all those things,” he agrees. “But I also couldn’t stop thinking about kissing you and then I kissed you, and I really, really couldn’t stop thinking about kissing you. And now here we finally are.”
“It’s about time,” I feign exasperation.
“Right?” His dimple pops, and then his expression grows serious. “I can take a long time to get comfortable with people and flirting is my default. By the time I’m ready to make a move, I’ve usually landed in the friend zone.”
“Better than diving in headfirst all the time?” I move to the white paint and begin the process of turning my pussy willows into kitties by giving them eyes and whiskers.
“In some ways, yeah, but in others it means I miss a lot of opportunities.”
“But not this time.”
“No.” Mac reaches across the table and links our pinkies. “Not this time, and I’m really glad about that, Ophelia.”
“Me, too.”
He brings my paint-splattered hand to his lips and kisses my knuckle.
He would be easy to fall for. He’s thoughtful, fun, and like a best friend already. And I know from that one kiss we have chemistry.
We finish our projects and leave them to dry. We’ll come back to fire and glaze them another time.
“Are you hungry?” Mac asks when we step out into the cold winter night. We’re at the point in the season where we’re tired of the cold but still have weeks to go before we see grass.
“I assume you are since hockey players are always bottomless pits,” I tease.
“I was thinking we could get dessert at the coffee shop across the street.” He tips his chin toward the café.
“I’d love that.”
We cross the street and order coffees and cake.
“Talk to me about your people-pleaser ways,” I say once we’re settled at a two-top in the corner.
“Why do you think I’m a people pleaser?”
“You don’t ever want to hurt anyone’s feelings. You don’t like making people feel bad even if it makes you not happy.”
He leans back and blows out a breath. “Wow. Um, I never really looked at it like that, but I guess you’re right.” He digs into his cake but doesn’t bring his fork to his mouth.
I walk back the question. “You don’t have to explain, Mac, especially not if it makes you uncomfortable. I’m just digging around and getting to know you. Sometimes I can be a little intrusive about it. I’ve spent a lot of time in therapy over the past few years, and it makes me pretty introspective.”
“Because you lost your parents?” he asks gently.
“And my sister is my guardian, and Roman is my brother-in-law, but he’s more like a father figure.” I exhale the ache in my chest. “I had this great family and what felt like an amazing, perfect life, with perfect parents, and one morning I woke up and everything had changed. My whole future disappeared and everything became an unknown. I was angry and sad and grieving.” I run my finger around the rim of my cup. “After Lexi became our guardian, I saw my family through a different lens. Especially my mom. She wasn’t perfect; and she tried to make up for all the mistakes she made with Lexi by trying to live up to an ideal with me and Callie. She kind of overcompensated, I guess?”
“Overcompensated how?” Mac asks, attention fixed on me.
“She was super involved in our lives. And I’m not saying that’s bad. I loved every minute with my mom, but she documented it all and posted it all on social media. Every vacation, every class, all our extracurriculars, and then I realized she never did any of that with Lexi. There weren’t any scrapbooks or photo albums. And maybe it was because she was in an unhappy marriage, but I can’t unknow how that hurt Lexi.” For a moment I worry I’ve gotten too heavy, let too much of my darkness show.
“I’m so sorry, Ophelia.” He takes my hand in his. “It’s hard when we realize our parents are just human.”
“We’re all fallible, right? I will always love her, and I try my best to remember all the good times, but I can’t erase the truth, and sometimes that’s hard. For a while, I buried every feeling I had about it, but when Lexi and Roman got married and we were suddenly a family, he said we should all go to therapy together. So we did, and I learned a lot about myself. I just want to understand what makes you tick, Mac.”