Total pages in book: 174
Estimated words: 172061 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 860(@200wpm)___ 688(@250wpm)___ 574(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 172061 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 860(@200wpm)___ 688(@250wpm)___ 574(@300wpm)
Yet it was so utterly different.
The light was muted, and the faint glow of the moon filtered in through the window that sat over the large, wooden bed against the far wall. A bed that was covered in a dark blue flannel comforter. The look as rugged and casual as the man.
To the right of the bed was a fireplace in the corner, a large, cushioned chair facing it with a rug underneath.
A dresser sat directly across from it with a television on top.
While his bedroom used to be riddled with treasures—trophies and ribbons and the blatant evidence of Cash’s goals and dreams—this one felt empty. No football paraphernalia in sight. Barren of any pictures or keepsakes.
My stomach ached when I realized he wouldn’t have any. There was nothing remaining.
The children had all been bathed then I’d come in here and taken a shower in Cash’s big shower, his scent all around. Then I’d changed into a clean pair of black sweats and a fitted white tee.
It would have been relaxing, except in the last thirty minutes, my nerves had rebounded. Hitting me full force.
A head-on collision of my past and my present.
Anxiety blustered through my senses.
All of this had become very real, very fast.
I was in Cash Cunningham’s house.
Freaking Cash Cunningham.
My oldest friend.
My best friend.
My only friend.
The boy I’d swooned over.
Okay, fine.
Obsessed over, but no one really needed to know the full extent of that.
But it went so much deeper than a simple crush, and in the end, that’s exactly what I’d been.
Crushed.
And now, I’d seen him in the flesh and not just in the dreams and fantasies I had of him over the years.
It should be impossible that the magnitude of those feelings would come rushing back.
But they were all there.
As strong as before. Maybe stronger.
Though they were distorted and disfigured.
Marred by the traumas and the separation.
By the hurt and the rejection.
I needed to remember my broken, lonely heart didn’t count in this situation. Cash was no longer my secret friend who made me feel seen for the first time in my life.
I could only think of him as my children’s saving grace, at least that was what I was praying for, but by his reaction at finding us, I realized my chances were slim to none.
But he was the only chance I had at ensuring they would be taken care of.
Protected.
I had to find a way to convince him.
I balled up my dirty clothes and carried them back into the bathroom, where I tossed them in a ball on the floor in the corner. Then I looked at myself in the mirror above the vanity sink.
My hair was damp, and my face was bare.
So different and so much the same.
I wondered what he thought when he looked at me. If there was…anything. If anything remained.
A screech echoed from out in the main house. Definitely not from the bedroom where I instructed them to stay until I was finished showering.
My kids were amazing, but they were kids, and they weren’t above a shenanigan or two.
Blowing out a sigh, I hung my towel and hurried back out into Cash’s room, where I curled my hand around the doorknob.
I paused as I inhaled deeply, gathering a little courage, reminding myself of my mission.
Why I was here.
Goal One: Make sure my kids weren’t tearing down the house.
Goal Two: Convince Cash this reckless endeavor was actually a brilliant idea.
With one more breath, I turned the knob and opened the door.
From across the main room, Colin’s voice carried. “Do you got bears in the woods?”
“Yeah.” It was a single word grunt of an answer. Unsurprising since that seemed to be the man’s only mode of communication. That and the glare of those unforgettable eyes.
“Will they eat me?” Colin asked. Knowing him, he’d been peppering Cash with a thousand questions.
A beat of uncertainty held in the air. Dread, if I could read the emotion right.
“You shouldn’t go in the woods by yourself,” Cash finally said without actually answering the question.
“But I can go with you, right? Because you’re a giant, and I bet you won’t be scared of the bears a bit. Would you punch ’em right in the face? One, two, three, kapow!” Colin acted out the motions.
I eased out into the main room as Cash released another grunt.
He was on his knees in front of the fireplace, adding kindling and paper to the hearth. Back rippling with strength under his white tee as he bent over.
Colin was right beside him, head inclined and fully in his business.
“Last thing you want is to confront a bear. When you come upon one, you stand up straight while slowly backing away and to the side. But like I said, you shouldn’t be in the woods by yourself, so there’s no reason for you to find out.”