Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 102942 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102942 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Fuck. I know that I don’t know what I want, that I’ve not even been willing to admit that there was something more between us, but I never expected it to feel like this.
These past six weeks, I’ve done nothing but tell him how much I hated him, joked about taking him out, and that I wished he’d never moved in next door. But now that the idea of never seeing him again is settling in my chest, it doesn’t just hurt, it fucking aches.
He decided for both of us, but he doesn’t get to do that. If he thinks walking away is some delusional attempt at protecting me, then he doesn’t understand who the hell I am.
The sudden sound of the hospital curtain being torn back pulls me out of my inner turmoil, and as my gaze snaps toward the newcomer, I find Katie striding through Raiden’s partitioned area in the massive shared room.
She gives me a hard stare at finding me in the wrong bed, and I immediately cringe, not understanding why her disapproval affects me so much. Yet here we are.
Katie doesn’t say anything, just moves around the room and discreetly glides her hand toward my bed, silently telling me to get my ass back over to my side, and as I let out a heavy sigh and glance down at the empty space beside me, the deepest agony rips through my chest.
Is this what it feels like to have your heart broken?
Was I falling for him?
Fuck. He was more dangerous than I ever gave him credit for. I was protecting myself from him, but in doing that, I forgot to guard my heart and left myself wide open. And now . . . I don’t know.
He holds power over me in a way I’ve never experienced, and that makes him more dangerous than ever before.
Raiden being lethal? Expected.
Raiden being precise and controlled? Predictable.
Raiden being smug and untouchable? Infuriating.
But Raiden cracking open and exposing the deepest parts of his soul, while simultaneously shattering mine? That right there is nothing but raw power that I never realized a single human could possess. And he used it to kill me.
With tears in my eyes, I glance back up at Katie, attempting to sit up and reach for my IV pole. She meets my gaze, and I find a deep understanding in her kind eyes. “How long has he been gone?”
“A few hours,” she tells me, her heart on her sleeve, clearly realizing she’s breaking mine. “Discharged himself against our better judgment.”
I nod. Of course he did. It’s Raiden. It’s not as though he’s about to hang around in a hospital all day when his target narrowly escaped last night. Every minute that Alistair is not dead is another minute for him to go further underground, yet I know that’s not why he truly left.
The tears continue to fall, and as I attempt to pull myself out of bed, Katie walks over and puts her arm around me. “Come on, let me help,” she says, tightening her grip around my waist and helping me to my feet.
I stumble as I make my way back to my bed, and while my body physically feels fine after the explosion last night, I can barely manage to hold myself up.
Something is physically broken inside of me. “I . . . I don’t understand what’s wrong with me,” I tell Katie.
“It’s your heart, love,” she murmurs. “It’ll pass. It might take some time, but you will heal from this.”
She helps me into my bed before checking over all of my stats and letting me know that the doctor should be coming in a few hours to discharge me. I give her a forced smile and nod.
If it were any other situation, I would have discharged myself the moment I woke after being knocked out. The longer I stay here, the more I risk being found out. I would have gotten on my jet, taken my ass home, and recovered there, but nothing is moving me right now.
To hell with it all. I don’t even care. They can take me out if they want, as long as it puts an end to this agony in my chest.
I lie in bed for over an hour, my mind circling like a shark scenting blood, replaying every word he said last night. Every look. Every pause. I turn it over and over until it’s raw, stuck on the fact that he walked away without giving me the respect of a goodbye. No warning. No fight. Just gone. And if I know Raiden the way I think I do, he’s already back on the hunt, finishing the target I wanted, convincing himself he’s protecting me while he steals the choice right out of my hands.
The anger comes slowly, then all at once.