Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 107306 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107306 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
“I’m not afraid of you. I could never be afraid of you. I’m afraid for you. Can’t you see that you getting hurt isn’t an option for me either? That as much as I want to save her, I can’t do that if it means losing you?”
No, I can’t see that. Not really. “I’ll be fine.”
“I’m not willing to risk you,” he says, a finality to his voice he didn’t have a moment ago. “This could be a trap. We don’t know what we’re walking into. We can’t do this alone. I would die if you got hurt, Cherry. Can’t you see that?”
I don’t answer, just shake my head. He doesn’t understand. I have to do this for him, have to take care of Shai the way no one else has, have to put him first because he’s spent his whole life being last.
“You’re mine to take care of,” I say.
“You’re mine to take care of too,” he answers. “You come first, and this…we can’t do this alone,” he says again, but I’m stuck in the first part of what he said.
You come first. Just like he comes first for me.
“Go home, baby. We need to go home.”
“You don’t understand.”
“I do,” he says softly. “I know they might not be willing to help. I know I’m not family to them the same way I am to you.”
“You’re my fucking family, which makes you theirs,” I argue. And he’s Ollie’s friend—the others’ as well, but the two of them have a special bond—and he’s Cil’s friend too, even if my best friend hasn’t let himself see it yet.
“Then if we’re all a family, we do this together.”
“You’re mine to protect,” I snap.
“Doing this, we’re protecting each other.” He places his hand on my leg, and somehow, the simple touch slows the rapid pace of my heart, settles the blood rushing through my ears, quiets the questions echoing in my head. As much as I want to do this, as much as I want to be the one to save Kat for Shai, as much as the bloodlust for Jagger’s death is now a constant thrum beneath my skin…I know he’s right. I put him more at risk if it’s just us, and I’ll hurt him if I die…because he loves me. I can’t live with myself if I hurt him.
My every instinct is on high alert, every part of me telling me to go, defend, protect, kill, but I want to be good for him, for us. I want to do the right thing.
“Okay,” I say softly. “Let’s go home.”
Shai’s hand doesn’t leave my thigh as we’re driving. He’s scared for his mom but unwavering in trying to comfort me. I thread our fingers together; give him the same reassurance he’s giving me.
It feels like there’s a ticking time bomb in the car with us, Shai’s other hand gripping his phone. Every few seconds his eyes are drawn to it as I hurry us back to the house. The moment we’re inside, Cillian takes one look at us and shoves to his feet. “What’s wrong?”
“My mom…” Shai’s voice breaks.
Tiernan and Dean’s attention snaps to us, and Ollie’s already walking toward Shai. Aislin is here as well, but luckily Zuri isn’t with her, so I can speak freely.
“His father has her,” I answer for him. “We don’t know where. He’s supposed to let us know soon, and then he wants to take Shai with him. That’s not happening. I’m sure he’s in planning mode. He must not know who I am, but there’s no doubt he can tell something is up by the way I responded when he threatened Shai.”
“Does your mom know about us?” Tiernan asks.
“Not that I know of,” Shai says. “I didn’t tell her anything. It wouldn’t be hard for her to have figured out, though.” Ollie stands beside him now, arm threaded through Shai’s, offering him comfort. The buzz beneath my skin is too strong, and I hate that I don’t know if I can do that right now for him.
“I’m killing the motherfucker,” I say. “The only reason I’m here is because Shai stopped me from going on my own. I know you have a lot of shit on your plate, T. I know you take responsibility for all of us and weigh pros and cons and all that shit, but I’m relieving you of your responsibility to me. I’m going whether you think it’s a good idea or not, whether I go alone or not, and if I die, then that’s on me. You have no burden to bear.”
“No,” Shai says. “Fuck that, you’re not—”
“I’m going with him,” Cillian cuts him off, startling me. Cillian’s fucking loyal to Tiernan. It takes a lot for him to question his cousin. The fact that he would go against Tiernan’s wishes, if that’s what T decides… “Cil…”