Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 89324 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89324 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
At the age she’d been when I met her, four years was a damn long time. She could’ve experienced any number of things. Had she fallen in love? Was she a nurse now? She’d mentioned speaking to Taylor about the man she’d met at the resort. Had she told him everything? The list of questions in my head seemed endless. And it would likely be a long while before I got the chance to ask.
Chapter 21
* * *
TATE
The following morning, Leah and I went down to the first floor where a brunch had been set up for the wedding party and close friends.
Taylor and Juliana had already arrived and seemed to be enjoying themselves. As I looked over at my son conversing with some friends, I realized how lucky I was that Blair and I were on the same page. Even after all this time, I trusted her, trusted that she cared about my son enough not to want to hurt him. You’d think that might have provided me some relief, but my feelings about Blair and about my life in general remained tumultuous.
I couldn’t get over her phone being stolen mere hours after we’d left each other. It made my heart hurt, and I realized it was possible to see this situation simultaneously through parallel lenses. One view only wanted to protect Taylor, while the other would always hold a place for Blair, would always mourn the idea that she might’ve called if she’d had my number. And would certainly mourn the idea that she and I might’ve had a future together.
That torturous question popped into my mind once again. Would I have done things differently if I could go back in time and know Blair was Taylor’s friend? No. I was still certain I wouldn’t have changed a thing. If that made me a shitty person, so be it. I couldn’t imagine never having known her, never having those precious days together.
Leah and I found a spot to sit, and as I walked back from the buffet, I noticed Blair. I hadn’t seen her enter the dining room. She looked more refreshed than last night and wore a floral dress, reminiscent of the ones I remembered her wearing at the resort.
She glanced up at me and then to the plate I’d piled high with food. She shook her head and smiled, which surprised me. I looked down at my plate and realized she must’ve been thinking that some things never change. Her smile was a bit of nostalgia amidst the chaos of this wedding weekend. I cherished it. Maybe some things were still the same.
If no one else had been here, I would’ve gone straight to her table, shared my food with her, and urged her to tell me everything about her life. The fact that I couldn’t felt almost cruel. Instead, I buried the urge and passed her table, finding my seat next to Leah. I’d gotten enough food to feed three people, but my appetite had vanished.
I watched as Blair got up and went to the buffet line. As she stood with her back to me, I admired her beautiful, long blonde hair, recalling how it had felt between my fingers. She was right here, and yet I missed her so much.
As she moved through the line, Taylor walked over to chat with her. I could tell how close they were. My stomach sank, followed by a flash of panic. Had they always been just friends, or was there a time when it had been more than that? I couldn’t ask Taylor, of course, so the only way I’d ever know was to ask Blair. Not sure why it mattered. Taylor was happily married now. But my curiosity lingered throughout brunch, and I felt like I was going insane. I should’ve been embarrassed for being jealous of my own son.
“Are you okay?” Leah asked.
If I’d had a nickel for every time she’d had to check on my sanity this weekend…
“Yeah.” I sighed. “I’m fine.”
“You keep looking over at the buffet table. Did you not get enough food?” She laughed, gesturing to my plate. “I mean… It’ll take you three days to eat all that.”
“I’m just spacing out.” I rubbed my eyes. “Still pretty tired from yesterday.”
“Hmm…” she said.
After about ten minutes of trying to eat, I excused myself to go to the bathroom, planning to throw some water on my face and reset. Or that’s what I told myself. I’d also seen Blair leave a minute earlier and wanted to see if I could steal a moment with her. I hoped for just one more opportunity to talk before we parted ways today. It would be a hell of a lot harder to see her without the wedding excuse.
Blair was nowhere to be found in the hallway outside the dining room. I decided to get some air, and I found her standing just outside the door.