Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 133034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 133034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
“I wouldn’t have lied about Connor like that.”
Vinnie looks at me like I’m one of his sculptures, his dirty boy eyes examining my face.
“Damn it, fuck-doll. You’re a sweetheart, aren’t you? I’d have fucked him over with everything I had if that motherfucker had me holed up in shit town with nowhere to go.”
“I knew he’d do it for himself. He’s fucking himself over every day.”
“He said he’d never have made it without you.”
My jaw grits instinctively, all the time I spent at Connor’s side, cheering him on from the wings gig after gig coming back to haunt me.
“He wouldn’t have, no. But it wasn’t about his shit viral hit, it was about all the work that went on before it.”
“Exactly.” Vinnie points a finger at me. His nails are black, not scarlet like mine. “So you had every right to cash in on it. You could be a way brighter star than him. He’s screwing himself over, one bullshit move at a time, but you,” he pauses. “Your skills ain’t going nowhere.”
I look at the bar top, running my scarlet nailed fingers across the wood as I try to digest his words. I never wanted to be famous. I never intended to cash in on Connor’s success, not ever. I always pictured him making it and me sitting quietly in the wings. On his arm at events, but never in the spotlight for myself.
“You’re selling yourself so fucking short, Ella Edwards,” Vinnie says. “Don’t let that sonofabitch shove you in the limelight without reaping the rewards. He put your name in lights, so step out into the applause.” He sips his champagne. “Trust me, it’s a dream to have people chanting your name.”
“I’m a hooker, not a rock star.” I laugh. “I use my bodily assets, not my music talents.”
“That don’t matter shit. You use you. Be proud. Own it.”
My head is still reeling so bad I don’t know what to make of it. His words call deep, and give me a strange surge of emotion. I’m proud of being Holly, yeah, really proud. But what about Ella? Am I really proud of being Ella?
Have I ever been proud of being Ella?
I’ve been lucky. I’ve landed on my feet after the hell, and I pushed myself to get through the storm after Connor trashed me in the first place. But that’s because I was lucky enough to get the opportunity. Through Ebony, and Orla, and The Agency.
And not forgetting Josh, always there by my side.
I was so damn lucky.
Ella was lucky to be given the chance to be Holly.
I look into Vinnie’s eyes, and he’s looking right into mine, and something clicks. Something passes between us.
“Got you there, didn’t I?” he says. “Got that sweetheart brain of yours thinking?”
I giggle. “Are you a life coach as well as rock legend? Didn’t see that coming.”
He taps his head.
“Glad I’m not just a regular take some pussy and go kind of client. Tell you something, it takes a fair bit of soul searching and soul breaking to hit the top of the charts and stay there. Hitting it big is a boom of a thunder, but staying there keeps you on your toes. Got to handle the publicity and know your own worth without relying on society for the thumbs up or the thumbs down. Otherwise, you’re just bobbing along on the waves, living for other people’s approval. Live for yourself. Be who you are. Stand proud. I learnt that lesson the hard way.”
I nod. His spoken words move me as much as his lyrics.
No wonder he made it so big.
I think of Connor, fucking everything up once he hit the dream. But it’s not through being overwhelmed, or things going to his head and sending him crazy. It’s because it’s who he is. Who he always was. The bloated ego wanting every excuse to show it off was there from the day I met him. He’s fucking his own path up by being himself. That’s who the world is seeing.
It’s seeing him.
I take a deep breath.
“Thanks for that, coach. Fuck me, I wasn’t expecting a soul search.” He’s got me good.
“What were you expecting?” he asks me. “Just some random guy with a hundred grand to throw at you for some kinky fuck time?”
“Yeah. I guess so. I try not to make assumptions.”
“What would you do for a hundred grand?”
I laugh. “Um, anything on my naughty list. You’ve seen which boxes are ticked.”
He laughs a fantastic laugh, that lights up his steel grey eyes.
“Yeah, I have. But maybe you should hitch your prices up a little. Trust me, the cash is coming your way.” He finishes up his champagne and pours another, topping mine up as he does. “So forget about your naughty list. Give me you.”
I hold up my glass.