Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 57121 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 228(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57121 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 228(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
I drive to Mom’s place, glancing in the rearview mirror to see if I can spot the security. Three cars back, I’m pretty sure that’s them. But I can’t be sure. It’s reassuring and a little scary to know they can tail me so easily. I wouldn’t have any idea if Maksim hadn’t told me.
Mom is sleeping when I get in. I shake her lightly, whispering I’m going to make her some dinner. She wakes with a start, her eyes full of a hope I recognize well. She was dreaming about Evan. Her face drops when she realizes it’s me.
“That sounds lovely,” she says in a hollow voice.
I bury my resentment as I go into the kitchen and start a simple pasta dish. But there’s only so long I can keep this all buried. I love my mother. I just wish she could find it in her heart to love me the same way too.
As I’m chopping tomatoes, my phone lights up.
It’s Maksim, with an absolutely inappropriate message. It makes me laugh the moment I see it. He’s sent a binocular emoji. I can’t believe I’m smiling as I pick up my phone and shoot a text back.
Lia: Are you seriously making light of this?
Maksim: Too soon?
Lia: Way too soon. You’ll need to try harder than a silly little emoji.
Maksim: You smiled though, didn’t you? Just give me that.
Lia: I’m just struggling to handle this whiplash, that’s all. You are NOT like this in person.
Maksim: I’ve spent my entire life being cold and withdrawn. Give a man a break.
Lia: Oh, my heart bleeds for the stalker.
Maksim: Thank you, but don’t bleed too much.
I laugh again. It’s easy, effortless, and it becomes difficult to remember how angry I’m supposed to be. I’m starting to get sick of worrying about how I should feel. But, at the same time, Tessa’s reaction to even a fictional version of this tells me how screwed it is.
Lia: Have you stuck to your promise?
Maksim: I deleted the access to the CCTV. It was the only way I knew I could be sure.
Lia: Is that flattering or freaky?
Maksim: A combination of both, I imagine. What are you doing?
Lia: Surely you know where I am?
Maksim: I’m trusting my team with your security.
Lia: Going cold turkey on the whole stalking thing?
Maksim: Trying to. I may be getting withdrawals though.
I smile, which probably means I’m just as cracked as he is. I look up when I realize Mom has walked into the room. She seems more like her old self for a fleeting moment, a wry look on her face. She has moments like this, as if she’s forgotten she’s supposed to be miserable.
“You look happy.” She sounds surprised.
“Do I?” I murmur.
She nods, smiling a little. Hope floods into me. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile like that before.” She narrows her eyes, and now she’s completely like the old version of herself. “Let me guess! You’re seeing somebody?”
I roll my eyes. This mother-daughter connection is so simple, probably happening thousands of times across the world, and yet it feels like our most special interaction in years.
“Maybe,” I murmur. “Sort of.”
She rushes over to me. “You need to tell me everything.”
Yeah, right…
“It’s early days,” I say. For me, anyway. “When things are more solid, we can talk about it.”
She huffs. “Fine, but I’m holding you to that promise. He must be special to make you smile like that.” A moment later, her gaze moves to a picture of Evan on the wall, and the life drains from her.
I’ve thought about telling her to remove the picture many times, but how can I?
“Do you remember when he wanted to be a police officer?” she says in a distant voice. “Do you remember that little hat he had?”
I pull her into my arms, holding her, just like Maksim held me. There’s some irony there… here she is, talking about the little boy with the bright smile who wanted to set the world right. Meanwhile, I may be falling for a man who does the exact opposite.
CHAPTER 14
MAKSIM
The next morning, I sit opposite a well-kept man with thick glasses and a fine layer of sweat clinging to his upper lip. He’s the representative for a senator whose private emails were leaked recently. He’s trying to figure out if it was our organization or Conrad’s. We had access to none of his conversations, but it wouldn’t be wise for me to admit that. In this world, implication is worth almost as much as fact.
Behind him, Nikolai paces. This is one of our moves. Nikolai walks up and down like a caged lion, causing the man to think he might leap at him any second. My mind is partially here, partially with Lia. Perhaps that’s going to be my new norm now, always partly somewhere else, with her. It’s not a bad thing.