Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 77827 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77827 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
He shifts closer, not touching me. It’s as if he’s giving me space to breathe, to process everything he’s just told me. However, his presence wraps around me anyway. Warm and steady, making me feel comfortable despite the drumline inside my chest.
“You don’t have to do anything with it,” he says softly. “I just needed you to know. I know that you need time, Baylor. I know that he hurt you. He didn’t deserve you,” he says, his tone tinged with anger. “But when you’re ready, I want my chance. I want to show you how it feels to be treated with love and respect. I want to show you what our life together could look like. I don’t care how long it takes. You take all the time that you need, but Baylor, I’m going to be right next to you every step of the way. Until you tell me that I’m not what you want, that you could never see a future with me, I’m going to be right there. Ready. Willing. Waiting for you to give me my chance.”
Knowing changes everything.
Because this isn’t a passing crush or a matter of convenient timing. This is history. This is a lifetime of knowing each other. A man whom I crushed on when I was younger, one I always made an extra bracelet for. My crush faded while his ramped up…? How is this real life? He took me off guard today in the stables, but this, his confession, wasn’t at all what I was expecting.
He’s sitting here next to me, telling me he’s been waiting and that he’s never stopped wanting, and now he wants his chance. My chest warms, wanting to fall into his embrace. But my head knows that words spoken can be empty. It’s actions that speak volumes, and he’s right: I’m not ready. Not after just ending a five-year relationship that went on for far longer than it should have.
That’s on me. I stayed. I thought we were on the same page, and it was just a hump we needed to get over. Relationships are hard, and I didn’t want to give up. I didn’t want to fail. Yet, ultimately, he ended us, without even knowing he was doing it. Actually, I think he knew, which is why he hid it from me. I think there’s a part of my ex that cared for me, but not enough. I haven’t even heard from him. Not the way my brother-in-law loves my sister. Not the way my dad loved my mom. I want that, and I won’t settle for less. But when I’m ready…
I let out a shaky breath, pressing a hand to my chest as if I can physically calm the chaos inside me. “Macklin… I just got out of something that—” I stop, my throat tightening. Five years. Five years of believing in something that slowly unraveled until I barely recognized myself in it. “It broke something in me,” I admit, the words tasting like truth and fear all at once. “I don’t trust my judgment anymore. I don’t trust… men. Not the way I used to.” The words taste like gravel on my tongue, because it’s the first time I’ve admitted how much the betrayal hurt me.
I don’t miss Todd. He ruined that. There will never be a chance for reconciliation. But I miss the life I thought we were building. I miss the security I thought I had knowing he was my person. Todd blasted all of that to smithereens, and what’s left is me, floundering, trying to find a new rhythm, trying to see where I fit in, where I’m headed, and into another relationship wasn’t on the list. At least not this soon. I have a lot of healing to do before I get there.
His expression doesn’t falter. If anything, it softens, as if he expected those exact words to fall from my lips. Like he’s been preparing for this moment, too.
“I know,” he says quietly. “And I’m not asking you to just flip a switch and trust me.”
His green eyes soften as does his tone, letting me know there’s no pressure, no demand, and that makes my chest ache even more, because this is Macklin, and that childhood crush of mine means there will always be a special place for him in my heart. Not to mention how he and the guys stepped up for my sister when Copeland enlisted.
“I just want the chance to show you,” he continues. “To be here. To be consistent. To give you everything. To show you what we can be together.”
My eyes sting, and I blink rapidly, hating how exposed I feel right now. Hating how much I want to believe him, and hate even more that I can’t.
“That’s a lot to offer someone who might not be able to give it back yet,” I whisper.